USA Networks And Vanity Fair White Collar Launch Event, Thomas Pink, New York
October 21, 2009

If it weren't for the last minute, think of all the things that wouldn't get done.  Wait for it....There.... OK, you got it.  A serial procrastinator, I have subscribed to that idiom since birth.  Some call it lazy like the eye I was born with, some call it pressure addiction.  There is nothing like feeling the burn of a deadline, killing that deadline and eating it for dinner.   On the other side of the coin are decisions, and sometimes those last-minute decisions yield the greatest rewards.  In this case, my last minute decision to attend the "White Collar" party at the Thomas Pink store on Madison Avenue yielded me two degrees of separation from Tracy Morgan.  We're getting close!

When I first moved to NYC I was confused about my identity as a human.  I had it narrowed down that yes, I was a chick, but in a style sense, I still dressed myself in a bland CT/OH/MI mishmash of boredom.  Giving up on myself, I focused on what I'd like to see on a dude I'd call my own, and every once in a while, I'd pop into the Thomas Pink store and fondle the brightly colored ties.  This HAS to happen to everyone who first comes to the city -- you initially think you're one "thing,"  but then you realize you were just a pawn of TV and movies and what you really want is quite the opposite.  Exhibit A: I ended up with an earringed, metal-loving, scatterbrained but brilliant baldy.  I think ties always confused me because my dad wore a tie (a silk power tie with gorillas on it) to work every day (paging Dr. Freud).  Thomas Pink is still a colorful trip down power-tie lane and it played the perfect supporting actor to the Vanity Fair/USA Network-hosted soirée.

I felt nervous around the pastel displays of crisply folded shirts.  I'm a klutz and with a skinny glass of champagne in hand and bacon-wrapped dates floating by, I was sure a spectacle was about to be made with my signature on it.  Each waiter behind each new tray of food was prettier than the next.  They should have served the food out of their dimples, never mind the trays. 

Over a thinly sliced beef and potato chip concoction I spied the adorable woodland creature-esque Willie Garson! "There's Stanford Blach!" I chirped at Gail Hilton, my superstar last-minute date from Thought Equity Motion.  As I slithered over I caught two familiar faces in the most gigantic men I've met yet.  It was Grizz and Dot Com, Tracy Morgan's two man entourage from "30 Rock"!  Wait, rewind for a minute.  Willie Garson plays Mozzie in "White Collar," so from now on, when I see him, I'll squeal "Mozzie!" instead.

But let's get back to Grizz and Dot Com.  They. Were. Awesome!  So fun, and after they posed for about five pictures with/for me, I could see them (kind of hard to miss them) in their pale-lavender-suited and sparkling glory working that room like Julia Child on a misbehaving mound of dough.  Through the Grizz and Dot Com curtain I spied the perfectly coiffed and icy blue eyeball gleam of Matt Bomer, who plays main character and con man Neal Caffrey in the series "White Collar."  Apologies to men who read this column and are already zoning out from my teenage girl reactions (also to my boyfriend), but I think I drooled on my dress a little when I met Matt.  The definition of charming.  If he was acting like a down-to -earth, appreciative, these-britches-will-always-be-bigger-than-ME sort of guy, then I see an Emmy in his future.  His publicist hopped out of the picture, but this man even picked a publicist who wasn't pushy and covered in disingenuous slime.

After Matt I approached another dapper fellow clad in a chocolate+eggplant-hued pinstriped suit.  And this pretty face belonged to Nicholas Rodriguez, who will be appearing in the movie "Sex & The City 2." As he walked away, the man he had been talking to whispered too-gleefully to me, "He's the new gay character on 'One Life To Live'!"

From my own world, I also met Tracey Bedell, Director, Field Marketing and Local Ad Sales at NBC Universal TV Networks Distribution, and her NBC partner in crime Kristin Daly, Manager, Field Marketing and Local Ad Sales at NBC Universal. Tracey shares my love of all things old-school "90210," and who met Tiffani(-Amber) Thiessen recently -- who I mistakenly thought was going to be at the party and got all geeked up about, only to be disappointed.  I did meet Jory Schwartz --  "straight interior designer" -- and his pal, "the handsome man." Yes, those are direct quotes.

Spicing up the joint with her top hat and furry stole was Marcia Sherrill, a designer with designs on a reality show for Bravo.  Hey, speaking of Bravo, Andy Cohen, host of "Watch What Happens" scooted into the party, made a beeline for the back, and scooted right the hell out of there.  It was like someone threw up the wrong bat signal or something.

I ended the night by interrupting Tim DeKay of HBO's "Carnivale" and "Tell Me You Love Me" fame -- and if you look at his IMDB profile, he's also been on every series known to man. He's so everywhere, I actually had a hard time nailing down who he was exactly, which I admitted when I accosted him, but he wasn't fungal about it.  In fact he was warm and friendly, posed for a photo and then returned to his escape route.

Needless to say, I'm glad I made the last-minute choice to attend. The party was ridiculous fun, nonstop champagne, and some of the best hors d'oeuvres I've chewed on thanks to caterer Williamson Calvert..  Also, the goodie bag had a "White Collar" engraved flask and a dark chocolate candy bar in it, so if you see me on the subway platform with a melty brown grin and I'm a little cantankerous, you'll know why.

Send invitations to kelly@mediapost.com!

You have to see the photoset on Flickr, GREAT photo subjects!

*edited at 2:21p.m today to add name/description*