• by Cory Treffiletti , Featured Contributor, June 1, 2011

Last week must have touched a nerve.  My last column was about solution selling and how salespeople can benefit from a "listen first, speak second" model.  The Spin Board may not have lit up, but my inbox certainly did, as I received a number of direct emails from people who either agreed with me, or thought I was a moron for wasting their time restating the obvious.

There was one follow-up I wanted to make -- and it's that sometimes, we forget that we are ALL sellers.  You may not have a number on your head, but you are always selling something.   If you're a salesperson, the sales are more obvious.  If you're a media planner, you're selling your plans to the client.  If you're the client, you're selling your product to the consumer.  If you're building a career in this business, you're constantly selling yourself to your peers and colleagues.  Selling is part of everyone's job description in the world of marketing, and the advice I intended for salespeople actually applies to everyone in this business.  Take the time to understand the person on the other side of the table before you start telling them what you have to offer.

I heard a story recently.  Actually it was half a story and half joke, but intended to be read as a fable about the world of advertising and marketing.  In the story, an ad man spends his whole life in the business, more than 50 years. In tense or challenging situations, he's always seen unfolding a piece of paper from his pocket and reading it.  He reads the paper and then puts it away again -- and then seems to have a sense of calm, composure and ease that helps him overcome any situation.  Upon his retirement, a younger exec in his agency asks him what was on that little piece of paper. The older gentleman takes out the paper, unfolds it, hands it to the younger man and leaves the room.  On the piece of paper is this simple phrase: "They may be right."

That simple story reminded me that no matter how smart or knowledgeable you may be, the person on the other side of the table may be smarter or more knowledgeable.  Your ideas may be good ones, but other people may have ideas that are just as good or better than yours. What tends to get in the way is ego.  Ego has never amounted to much, and when you're selling ideas, ego only serves to get in the way.  At best ego disappoints the other party and stops them from listening.  At worst it can make the person on the other side of the table feel less engaged and appreciated and less a part of the solution, leading to a stoppage.  When you talk first and listen second, that's ego selling.  When you listen first, you're valuing the other person, entering into the conversation assuming "they may be right."

My business partner likes to reference the idea that you can't cash a check for ego. If your ego is winning out, then try to write it on a check and take it to the bank.  The teller won't be able to help you. 

One last thing to remember: when you're listening to a sales pitch, be sure you invest the necessary attention to value the person giving the pitch.  You may not need what they are selling, but on the other end of the table is a person who brings something of value; it's called a relationship. Just because you don't align right now, doesn't mean you won't align later.

So, to wrap up it up, a personal note. To the people who sent me positive feedback about last week's column, I thank you for your time because you and I agree that valuing the person on the other side of the conversation is a direct path to success for everyone involved.  To the people who wrote me with critical words or went so far as to call me a moron for restating the obvious, you should probably reevaluate how you approach your day today, because ego is what wrote those emails.

We are all sellers at any given moment, so be sure to put yourself in the shoes on the other side of the conversation, and things will turn out well.