• by Ari Rosenberg , Op-Ed Contributor, October 4, 2012

In news that hasn’t happened, Facebook has acquired Twitter.

Consumers drove this deal not yet struck between two millennial CEOs who will delete their egos and download uncanny common sense to make this merger happen.  The combined company may be renamed “Facetweet.”

Prior to this future merger, these two companies were asking consumers to update basically the same friends in two different places.  Meet me at Twitter so I can share what I am thinking and then let’s head over to Facebook so I can show you how I feel.  It’s like asking customers to buy a burger from McDonald’s and fries from Burger King across the street.  Eventually these two social media fast food giants will be forced to merge into one happy meal.

Twitter is a better and hipper version of status updates on Facebook -- and of course anything beyond 140 characters must be shared somewhere other than Twitter.  The formal intertwining of these two social media services makes sense for consumers, and makes even more business sense for Facebook and Twitter. Here’s why:

1.    Facebook knows where the cool kids went, and it can’t afford to lose any more -- buying Twitter brings them back.

2.    Twitter is at the head of the mobile advertising table, which is long on hype and short on real revenue because screen size does, in fact, matter.  Selling to Facebook is a far better option than being bought by Apple or Google.

3.    Speaking of which, search revenue will drive this deal home.

When Twitter and Facebook merge, their executives will gather in a conference room and giggle as they finally take Google’s call.  After listening to Google’s pitch and promised revenue, the “Facetweet” executives will respond, “Sure, you guys can run those search ads on our site -- but that 50%-50 percent payout you offer to other publishers – well, that doesn’t work for us.  We’ll take 80%. So thanks very much for the call, and it will be a pleasure doing business with you.”

A combined Facebook and Twitter will command these kinds of favorable contract parameters with the do-no-evil empire, along with any other digital companies relying on distribution deals.  Separately they lack this kind of leverage. 

In addition to this recurring and enormous check from Google and any additional “business development revenue,” this combined entity will absorb 90%-plus of all the mobile revenue that will eventually come, and will usurp the portals as a must-buy for display advertising.  This combined entity will deliver too much reach for advertisers to ignore.  Finally, the Wall Street suits with mud all over them from the Facebook IPO will cheer this merger like it’s their kids’ soccer games, causing the stock to rebound and then skyrocket.

Everything happens for a reason -- and this yet-to-happen merger between Facebook and Twitter has more than its fair share of them.