• by George Simpson , Featured Contributor, December 6, 2013

I started writing this as a letter to my kids. But then you probably have a kid who could benefit from the same advice. And they do tend to listen to others while tuning out anything from parents that sounds like a lecture.

I live in a little town of about 18,000 folks. In the past month we had a recent college grad die of a drug overdose, while this week a college senior was killed in a car crash where the driver was arrested for DUI. While the magnitude of these tragedies don't approach the agony of nearby Newtown's classroom murders of a year ago, they still ripped the hearts out of two families and countless friends and relatives.

Teenagers don't realize that 15 to 25 are the stupid years, when physical and emotional growth coupled with a shortage of life experience lead to impulsive behavior and basically some pretty stupid decisions. They won't realize until later in life that everyone on the planet had to go through the stupid years -- and that it is really hard for parents to hold their breaths for a decade.

There is a reason that armies like to go after kids in their late teens. It is because they still think they are immortal and that if anything bad happens, it will happen to the other guy. It is the same mentality that keeps them playing football despite growing evidence that the constant beatings on the field might lead to early dementia. Or driving 75 in a 35 zone.

Take this fundamental mental instability and add in drugs including alcohol, and you have the recipe for disaster. Dan Jenkins in Baja, Oklahoma humorously outlined"Mankind's Ten Stages of Drunkenness" that started out with "Witty and Charming" and end at "Bulletproof." It is funny, but it is also utterly true.

It is not enough to beat into our teens the dangers of getting behind the wheel impaired by their drug of choice. (After all, they are perfectly capable of killing pedestrians while texting or online (twice in this town in the past 5 years). What is harder is to convince them that when they are impaired, they make even stupider decisions. Usually it is something harmless like eating at Denny's at 3 a.m. or waking up in the bed of someone they only vaguely remember talking to the night before. But other times it kills them.

No one wants to be THAT kid who backs out and says, "No" when everyone else is putting their lives in the hands of one of their buddies who swears "he is fine" to drive. After all, they have driven with drunks before (maybe even their own parents) and survived. Why should this trip be any different? Every day in America, 28 people die as a result of drunk driving crashes. In fact, car crashes are the leading cause of death for teens, and about a quarter involve an underage drinking driver.

I am telling my kids (again) that even if they are 500 miles away, they can call at any hour of the day or night and I will see that they get a safe ride home. Maybe if they decline to get in the car another will equivocate, decide to stay with them, and two lives might be saved. But this calls for rational thinking at a moment when they too are probably hammered.

Which is why we hold our breaths for a very long time.