According to some, I am supposed to be aghast because poor Clayton D. Lockett writhed and groaned on an Oklahoma gurney for about 40 minutes before going straight to hell, where they have been waiting for him since he shot a woman and buried her alive. The American Civil Liberties Union claims he had a "right" to a painless trip to the netherworld. I assume they didn't come to that conclusion after speaking with the family of the woman Clayton buried alive. In fact, that’s what I would have suggested the state of Oklahoma do: Shoot and bury Clayton alive. I think a painless death by injection (however botched) is not worthy of the crime. Let him slowly smother under mounds of dirt like his victim. This is not some biblical rant about an "eye for an eye," but I have a really hard time feeling sorry for murderers who callously slaughter others, then expect "civilized" treatment from the system. In a similar vein, I think that in business, when you commit a heinous crime like making someone sit through a 35-slide PowerPoint, your punishment should be to sit through it 10 times, or until you break down sobbing for forgiveness -- whichever comes first. If you bore co-workers with stories about 1) golf; 2) fishing; or 3) your kids, you should be strapped to an iPod that plays the same moronic story about someone else's vacation on a loop that runs nonstop for 36 hours. Simultaneously, you have to look at the same photo of the family posed in front of the Eiffel Tower or Trevi Fountain until you hallucinate. If you invite others around you to examine and admire your new phone or tablet, the device should be immediately rendered inoperable, and you have to spend five hours on the help queue at a Best Buy store, or 12 hours on a phone line being passed from help desk to help desk, being intermittently cut off and having to dial back into the "our menu has changed" warning. If you say out loud things like "traction,” "open the kimono," "jumping the shark,” "customer-centric" and "disruption," you should have to take Amtrak from Boston to Miami sitting with three teenage girls, a bored housewife from Queens, and three foreigners whose only volume setting is SHRILL, all drunk and talking loudly on their cell phones for the duration of the trip. You will learn as much as folks learn from you when you use those words. When you are over-served at a company or business event and proceed to tell it like it is in the boorish, emphatic tones of a drunk in love with your own cleverness, you should have to listen to a recording of yourself the next day, and every day after for an entire week. Then you can start your apology calls. If you can't be bothered to help a kid trying to get his or her first job, or listen to a former co-worker or colleague who is out of a job and looking for help, then within 12 months you should lose your job and have to reach out to people like you. Good luck.