• by Sean Hargrave , Staff Writer, February 6, 2015

I kid you not. As I drove home late last night I was flicking radio channels and thought I'd give the local BBC station a chance to convince me that is isn't totally boring as I suspected -- and might, after all, have some kind of a place on the media landscape. So, with a press of button BBC Oxford was given a chance to undo all the harm done by years of giving local BBC stations a chance.

It was BBC Oxford's big moment. The last time I'd listened to BBC local radio was in the studio of BBC Swindon where I was being interviewed by a very nice guy who was rather reminiscent of a certain Alan Partridge, Steve Coogan's hapless radio presenter, and for a short while, television chat show host. He was the man charged with putting the Quo into Status at the station -- quite literally, in fact, because he'd just been given the job of overseeing the channel's music policy. And yes, it was a little like letting an aging uncle loose with his vinyl. It wasn't my most pointless appearance on local radio -- we'll get to that one in good time.

So as I tuned in to give BBC local radio a final chance I was hoping for either a good tune or something of local relevance -- given that this is local radio, after all. I will wager a chunky-sized Kit Kat you'll never guess what my ears were next treated to. Search your mind and try to come up with a child's game that is probably the least suited to radio you could probably imagine. Give up? Well, actually, it was a game of "Eye Spy" on radio. The DJ who seemed to be channelling both Smashie and Nicey couldn't quite believe he was on his fourth guest and nobody had yet guessed the "T" he could spy with his little eye in an imaginary restaurant. 

Now I know what you're thinking -- but no, an elderly lady with a smoker's cough called in to suggest it was "Tray." The DJ kept the suspense going for a minute or two asking her all about her experience with trays in her former job as a waitress but it turns out she had never dropped a single one in all her career, and she assured us all they're actually quite easy to handle when you've put the years in. Some other guy who was very hard to understand called in with another "T." I can't even remember what it was, now, but the DJ struggled to get any airtime out of someone who clearly had no anecdotes to share even though this was his fourth attempt at playing "Eye Spy" on the radio. Apparently the DJ thought that it was an easy "T" to guess, but the producer had assured him it wasn't. 

The only thought that struck me as I switched to a commercial radio station was how many "T" words the DJ had written down to ensure he could tick them off and make the game last through his whole show. I'd have been stumped at half a dozen. You see, this wasn't just a game played one guess at a time between songs. This seemed to be the guy's show. It made me laugh out loud -- or should that be lol -- as I remembered hearing about a ventriloquist back in the days of black and white television who started his career in radio. 

So it came as little surprise to see this morning that the BBC's audience is shrinking at a faster rate than commercial radio stations. Other than the wonderful Radio 4 and Radio 5, and presumably Radio 3 if you're into classical music, we have a bunch of egomaniacs on Radio 1 who think their lives are interesting and a bunch of middle-aged and elderly former Radio 1 DJs playing songs they used to like thirty years ago or going through the Daily Mail headline to conjure up a chat show on Radio 2. 

As for local radio, I suspect my views are quite obvious -- but do allow me to share my one cringe-worthy moment from just a couple of years ago when I was again being interviewed in a studio about social media, I think it was. I was quite excited only to find my segment wasn't quite as long as they'd expected because they'd managed to get a big interview lined up after me. As I was cut short, the reason became clear. The presenter exclaimed in a very excited tone they'd manage to nail down Bob from some tiddly village nobody had ever heard of who had, you'll never guess what -- a fascinating pencil collection. 

With such a hot topic to knock social media and a chat about online learning in to a cocked hat, I made my retreat with the memory lying dormant until last night's fascinating brush with 'Eye Spy'. I never did get to find out what the T in the restaurant was. My money was on table, but i can't help but think somebody in the first three guesses must have said that? Anyone out there know? Any one care? Thought not.