Commentary

'Meat Mythcrushers' Is Everything Its Name Implies, And, Yet, Somehow More

Most days, this column shoots for thoughtfulness and relevance. It seizes on a single brand video as indicative of a grander trend within digital marketing, or uses a pair of clips to contrast disparate approaches to achieving a common goal. To that end, its diligent curator combs the Internet to find the newest and neatest brand videos before they’ve clogged your Facebook feed. When he’s not feeling sad and frowny, anyway.

Well, today is not most days. For I, the aforementioned benevolent incorruptible curator, have happened upon what I believe to be the Internet’s grandest, most casually argumentative repository of meat videos. This is the mother lode, people. If you are ardently pro-meat and need your fears about the dignity and grandeur of the meat business allayed, this is your Eden.

Before we begin, however, there’s one obvious existential question to get out of the way: Are we at war with meat? I’ve never pegged animal-rights groups as Internet rumormongers, but the very existence of a 44-video series (and counting) dedicated to dismissing myths about meat suggests that there’s a shadow conflict being waged. It pits malnourished kale aficionados against Johnny Hamburger, who loves freedom and puppies. It’s a battle that Big Meat (in the form of the American Meat Institute and the American Meat Science Organization, uninterested advocates both) has reluctantly chosen to fight, for love of God and country.

Whether or not the anti-meat-ites are succeeding in their nefarious goal of besmirching this proud and decent industry, the American Meat Institute saw/sees a need to do something about it. And that something is “Meat Mythcrushers,” which addresses concerns you didn’t know you had. You know, like whether “‘Glue’ Is Used to Hold Some Meat Together” and whether “Feeding Cattle Corn Is Unnatural.” Spoilers for those not inclined to click through: meat glue isn’t an actual thing and cattle enjoy a delicious corn on the cob every so often.

If you need an anti-meat argument debunked, look no further. “Meat Mythcrushers” calmly and definitively puts to rest every possible concern one might have about the environmental, nutritional, processing, safety and animal-welfare aspects of meat-making and consumption. It takes OMG WTF assertions like “Monitoring of Animal Welfare in Meat Plants Is Inadequate” and dismisses them with a curt wave of the hand. Really. It’s that straightforward and simple.

As for the videos themselves, they consist of dialogues between an American Meat Institute exec and Person With A Title That Confers Supreme Wisdom. Occasionally, those people are even identified with a handy on-screen graphic. Most of the time, the conversation starts with a question (“Is nitrate in cured meat linked to diseases like cancer? Because that sure sounds like crazy talk to me”) and progresses in an orderly manner for the next three to five minutes.

Take “Myth: Denmark Has Eliminated Antibiotic Resistance by Banning Use of Antibiotics for Growth Promotion” as an example. In the clip, the American Meat Institute woman and a guy from the University of Minnesota engage in sober-minded dialogue on what appears to be the deck of a neighboring cruise ship. Both parties to the conversation agree that the titular assertion is as much a myth as “cracking your knuckles leads to arthritis” or “The Odyssey.” Case closed. Meat haters, you’ve been pwned once anew.

Given the flash flood of incontestable science conveyed in the “Meat Mythcrushers” clips, it’s stunning that groups like ASPCA and PETA persist with their anti-meat agenda. What chance do they have against the single-camera, poorly mic’d magnificence of the “Meat Mythcrushers” videos? Give it a rest, losers. You don’t win friends with salad.

3 comments about "'Meat Mythcrushers' Is Everything Its Name Implies, And, Yet, Somehow More".
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  1. Lisa Nichols Jell from Bloom Ads Inc., July 30, 2015 at 4:41 p.m.

    Hopefully they address the horrific conditions of the modern factory farms and slaughterhouses.  Also the "dead piles" where animals who are not fit for consumption are left to die.  These are not myths btw they are the sad, pathetic result of a huge for profit industry.

  2. Mary Pocsik from G2, July 31, 2015 at 10:45 a.m.

    The fact the meat industry needs to defend itself is indeed a win for animals, the environment and the health of our population. I am concerned for those who take the meat industry's self serving 'research' as reliable. If you want the facts about promoting a healthy lifestyle look at the non-biased research through resources like www.nutritionfacts.org which is a non profit run by an MD, Dr. Greger, dedicated to fact finding based on data and science about the health consequences of eating meat and dairy.  There are also powerful documentaries exposing the truth like Forks Over Knives and Food Inc.  The profits of meat and dairy industries are declining as the truth gets out and so this is a natural reaction to the threat of the loss of business. May they continue the decline while people, animals and our planet win.

  3. Paula Lynn from Who Else Unlimited, July 31, 2015 at 2:48 p.m.

    You the old saying about: Lying enough times with the same lies becomes the truth. The meat industry is back by whom ? Follow the money. Please note, too, anti-meat can be a misnomer for people who show when livestock is tortured, infused with chemicals and unsanitary conditions. It is also a misnomer for people who are carnivors, but limit the amount because it is unhealthy for the environment, costs and overall body functions. And if the meat fillers weren't used (check that deli counter), they would and do go by way of the ugly vegatables that the markets feel they can't sell. 

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