• by George Simpson , Featured Contributor, November 12, 2015

On the Q&A Web site Quora, someone asked what were some "common mistakes when interviewing for a job.” They got back some good boilerplate feedback such as not being prepared, trying to guess answers, badmouthing your current employer and not having any questions.

I'm not sure this advice is sufficient for trying to get hired at Google, which is notorious for asking oddball questions like:  “How much should you charge to wash all the windows in Seattle?” “Why are manhole covers round?” And this puzzler: “A building has 100 floors. Which is the highest floor an egg can be dropped from without breaking? “

While this clearly indicates I will never work at Google, I think I have some tips that go beyond the basics covered on Quora.

Always start the interview by asking how much the job pays, how much equity you will get and how many paid vacation days you can expect in your first year. This indicates that you have a strong sense of your market value, sending the signal that you won't settle for a measly 40% bump in salary.

You might also inquire how quickly you can take those vacation days, noting that you are pretty keen to spend some times at a nude singles resort in the Mediterranean before your summer tan fades. If you are married, this will show that you are open-minded and a team player.

By complaining about the travel restrictions at your current employer — like no first-class flights and a $300-a-night limit on hotels — you can jumpstart a conversation about what perks the prospective company has to offer. After all, who wants to be six weeks into a new job only to find out that they have to be in the back of the bus from Atlanta to Denver, or snooze at Comfort Suites? Bummer.

Show your strength. Nothing sends the subliminal message that you are a powerful leader like four or five instances from your past where you totally destroyed the opposition.  "Yeah, I routinely cull the herd and get rid of stragglers” is a nice way of saying that you have high standards and expect those around you to live up to them. "Hey, if you want to cry at your desk, go work at Amazon — am I right?"

Toss in a few jokes about taking drugs, women, gays and black people. Everyone loves an inclusive sense of humor. Think of the bond that you will establish trading your best stuff with the interviewer, who will be thrilled to finally chat with someone who is not so PC that they can't laugh at life's little foibles. Who knows, you might end up sharing a pizza with a little ganja sprinkled on top!

Find out if the interviewer really is an insider and has the CEO's ear. Ask about who is sleeping with whom. This is generally pretty common knowledge within the company, and you want to make sure this HR rep is a player and can send you upstairs for the cursory approval chat with the top execs. If you sense not, then save your best jokes and acid trip recollections for someone who matters.

Be stylin’.  The last thing an interviewer wants to see is the same basic navy-blue "interview" suit that EVERY candidate wears. Show off your creative side. Pair your nut huggers with your Superman Converse kicks. Leave your bra on the bedpost. Show a little something. Nobody ever got ahead in Hollywood without being photographed, if you know what I mean. Showcase your flair and independence.

Finally, be sure and ask, "Why do you think I should come work here? I am pretty happy right where I am." This shouts confidence like nothing else. It might even get them to up their salary offer since they know you are not desperate.  I can just hear the group assessment about you afterward: "Wow, what a powerhouse!"