Oreo or Chocolate Chip?
Female Spousal Unit (FSU): Hey, whatja doin?
Male Spousal Unit (MSU): Cleaning these damned cookies off my computer.
FSU: Heather!! Come down here with the dustbuster and get these crumbs off Dad's keyboard! How many times have I&
MSU: No, no, not those cookies, the evil sneaky data collecting codes that every site or ad puts on your computer each time you go there.
FSU: Code? Why do they call them cookies?
MSU: Who knows? Why does your lily-white daughter call her pals "Gangstas?" Some things in life will always be a mystery.
FSU: Why do you have to get rid of these cookies?
MSU: I don't know, something I read about privacy or pop-ups or spam or viruses, I'm not really sure.
FSU: Cookies cause all that stuff? Can they steal our identity?
MSU: Oh, yeah, probably that too!
FSU: This is an outrage. Do the sites ask if they can put cookies on our computer?
MSU: No, they don't as a matter of fact. That's why I think they are bad, because they are like downloaded in a way you can't even see it happening.
FSU: But what do they do? Do they unzip and start taking over, like a virus?
MSU: No, I don't think so. It's more like they let the sites track what we read and do online.
FSU: Oh my God, you mean they can read the IMs I send to my sister?
MSU: I don't think so, but you never can tell.
FSU: Would they know if you went to a uh, well, um a you know& like a naughty site?
MSU: Excuse me?
FSU: (quickly) Well, not YOU, but if somebody went to a porn site.
MSU: Christ, I don't know, but why take a chance? That's why I'm dumping them because they can't be anything but bad.
An Hour Later&
FSU: What the f&; hey how come I have to register again to read The New York Times?
MSU: Geez, I don't know; some glitch in the system.
FSU: And, what's this? What happened to my one-click shopping basket at Amazon? It says I'm not a registered customer& I have to reenter all my stuff. Oh man, what a pain!
MSU: Maybe the power went out today or something?
FSU: Geez, I keep seeing the same stupid pop-ups every time I go to a different site. What is that about? That never used to happen.
MSU: You haven't opened any attachments from strangers have you?
FSU: Give me a break. I'm not stupid. But I think some of these sites just got stupid. What happened to the "Hello, Jane&" I used to get on lots of sites? And what happened to the formatting and the line up of stories I picked to read? They have all defaulted to generic summaries.
MSU: You know, I think I have to wash the car now&
FSU: And I keep getting these security warnings when I move around e-commerce sites&where did THEY come from? You know, I think all this has to do with those cookies you deleted.
MSU: &then I'm going to clean the garbage cans&
FSU: Well, when you are done, climb in one of them and stay the hell away from my computer!