Commentary

Bytes & Bites (Yes, AGAIN, What of It?)

"I am not now, nor have I ever been, a member of the Pedophilia Party...."

Former Santa Barbara News-Press editor Jerry Roberts says he may sue for libel if the Los Angeles Times doesn't disavow a front-page story that Roberts worked on a computer that was later found to hold more than 15,000 images of child and adult pornography. He could try the "it downloaded in the background unbeknownst to me" defense -- but that only works when your wife finds three pix of topless movie stars.

A stunning glimpse into the obvious...

ScanSafe's Monthly Global Threat Report for March confirms that the Net's blog sites are overgrown with a variety of unpleasant content, including porn, offensive language, hate posting, and malware. And that's just The Huffington Post.

Proof that time wounds all heels...

Rosie O'Donnell was unable to agree on a contract with ABC, and she'll leave "The View" in June. Perhaps some summer stock in Omsk?

Seems like there are lots of Jerry Robertses around...

In an audit of 10,000 PCs at 125 business and public sector networks over the last nine months, PixAlert -- a company that blocks illicit images on corporate networks -- found that 25% contained some form of pornography. The study determined that 46.8% showed full nudity and/or sexual activity; 0.3% were deemed "illegal." This also explains why everyone has reorganized their office furniture so that their computer screen can't be seen from the hallway.

Another argument for staying in college...

The guy who invented Apple computers and iPods and iPhones and all sorts of other high-tech, higher-design stuff says he had no idea that his stock options were backdated. He also can't make his VCR clock stop blinking off and on.

So I guess "MotherF**ker", "cop killin'" and "pussy" get the nod...

Hip-hop mogul Russell Simmons said Monday that the recording and broadcast industries should consistently ban "bitch," "ho" and "nigger" from "clean" versions of rap songs and the airwaves. Way to keep it real, bro.

Wrong guy fired again...

Earlier this month, CBS put a video commentary on the Internet in which Katie Couric lamented the fact that children take less interest in using libraries than they used to. Which, as luck would have it, had been lifted from a Wall Street Journal piece by Jeffrey Zaslow. A low-level CBS producer was dismissed for the transgression. Where are the bloggers when CBS needs them most?

Which doesn't explain why in five years I haven't entered a single AM PreSet...

Edison Media Research, which proudly says it works with many of "the largest Radio Ownership Groups in the United States including Entercom, Infinity, Westwood One, Radio One and ABC Radio... and successful radio stations in Argentina, Canada, Czech Republic, Denmark, Hungary, Iceland, Ireland and the United Kingdom," released a study revealing that AM/FM radio remains "vital." Note to self: recharge iPod.

A stunning glimpse into the obvious... Part II

A Roanoke Times columnist surveyed the wall-to-wall coverage of the shootings at Blacksburg and concluded: "The most ludicrous was when a local radio anchor asked a reporter on the scene at Virginia Tech, 'So, what's the mood on campus?'"



The story you have just read is an attempt to blend fact and fiction in a manner that provokes thought, and on a good day, merriment. It would be ill-advised to take any of it literally. Take it, rather, with the same humor with which it is intended. Cut and paste or link to it at your own peril.
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