Commentary

Bytes & Bites: Chapter 8

Mom Has Written on Your Wall "Dinner is ready"....
A Datamonitor study says that global active memberships in social networking sites are expected to reach 230 million at the end of 2007 (including multiple memberships by users). That's 230 million invitations to join groups that you can't keep up with or even understand why you belong to.

It's Not You; It's Me, Really...
Seventeen magazine is introducing a "Seventeen Body Peace Project" to help girls appreciate their shapes and stop stressing over the beauty industry's preferred standards. As part of the program, the magazine is encouraging girls to sign a "Body Peace Treaty" with vows such as: "Never blame my body for the bad day I'm having." Oh, and "Never compare myself to the idealized, airbrushed, surgically-corrected/enhanced cover, layout, and ad models in Seventeen."

Major Tipoff: "The Tech Support was fantastic..."
A new study from PR firm gigantus Burson-Marsteller says frequent online shoppers are becoming skeptical of reviews found on shopping sites. Some 30% of respondents felt that fake reviews were now a big problem, up from 20% who thought it was a problem in 2001. Surpassed only by the 99% who, if asked, would say they are sick and tired of retailers begging them to submit favorable ratings.

Second Prize Is TWO Weeks in Philadelphia...
Cenergy Communications was named by The National Hockey League to handle all advertising/marketing duties for the U.S. launch of the NHL Network. Imagine an entire cable network devoted to a game that so few people care about, they probably have to pay NBC to air its games. Quick, who won the Stanley Cup last year? See?

But It Said So in The New York Times....
At about the same moment The Pew Internet and American Life Project announced that some 59 percent of Americans with children ages 12-17 consider the Internet a positive influence on their kids, some DC PR firm called 463 Communications released a poll claiming that more than half of U.S. residents want the government to regulate Internet video. This followed by a study I released confirming that most studies are self-serving bullshit.

They Knew The Jig Was Up When The Guy in The White Socks Asked for a Volume Discount...
Three Orlando Weekly employees were arrested recently because the paper apparently accepted ads that doubled as fronts for prostitution. Vice investigators said they've spent the last two years building their case and, at one point investigators even posed as prostitutes. What? Orlando pimps don't know about craigslist?

Just When You Thought The Bubble Wouldn't Get Any Bigger...
Microsoft agreed to pay $240 million for a 1.6% stake in Facebook, in a deal that places a $15 billion valuation on the start-up. Microsoft will finance the deal with subprime loans.


The story you have just read is an attempt to blend fact and fiction in a manner that provokes thought, and on a good day, merriment. It would be ill-advised to take any of it literally. Take it, rather, with the same humor with which it is intended. Cut and paste or link to it at your own peril.

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