I've got Super Bowl ad fever! It's basically acute diphtheria, minus the engorged lymph nodes but with a pronounced fungal component. The gals behind the desk at Dr. Sliffeninnin's office have tactfully broached the topic of organ donation.

Okay: that Coca-Cola video. I was out last week attending to matters of important personal business and, as a result, missed most of the tsk-tsking and are-they-serious? giggles in its wake. To recap: the beverage giant, fearing that it's about to absorb a few love taps from the regulatory mallet, released "Coming Together," a clip proclaiming that it is an ally in the fight against obesity, diabetes, heart disease, osteoporosis, pancreatitis, kidney failure, cavities, sugar tongue and every other health scourge to which overconsumption of its 650 beverages may or may not contribute. Check that - Coca-Cola isn't just an …

At some point in the future, it's possible that I will recast my phone as an organizational nerve center. In theory, I could use it to track my spending, deadlines and numerous important appointments. It could direct me to Wi-Fi-enabled haven and Yelp-approved public restroom alike. Heck, it could prompt me to modernize my current keep-track-of-self scheme, which consists mostly of Post-It notes and mnemonic catchphrases.

I am buying a car and I am excited. After years confined to the underpaved thoroughfares of urbania, I have a place to put a car - two places, actually. Neither demands a monthly outlay of $400 to Parking Inc. or ninja-like alacrity in pouncing on just-vacated slices of curbside real estate. Thus I am managing my garage with great and furious zeal. My oily rags do not impede the safe storage of acoustic or electric leaf-dispersal implements.

It took nearly half a year, but I finally made a new friend out here in the suburbs. His name is Jack and he's a wellspring of positive energy, quick with a high-five and enthusiastic if unintelligible salutations. Unlike my college pals and professional peers, he lights up in my presence. He's a terrific guy.