Commentary

Twitter Not Selling, But Changing Name

"Okay, okay," said Biz Stone, holding up his hand, "We get the joke. You people are very clever. It's funny that everyone is calling themselves 'Twits.' We get it. It's hilarious."

And Evan Williams, for his part, ordered another round of Tecate and tequilas from the bartender at the Rusty Knot. The two were on what appeared to be the third day of a post-Webby Award show bender in New York. They'd not made it far from the after party at the Highline. Biz howled as he shot back his red beer can and a little went down the wrong way, and Williams brought a handkerchief to his face and inhaled deeply. The Riff could not believe his luck.

After putting the handkerchief, on which the Riff noticed was embroidered "@ev," back in his pocket, Williams paused, staring earnestly and dropped the bomb: "We're ready for a change."

"We've been brainstorming new names all afternoon," said Stone. "And we think we've got it." We couldn't help asking, "But guys, is this really the time for that?" Both men smelled like they hadn't showered since Stone gave his five word acceptance speech at the Webby Awards Monday night: "Creativity is a renewable resource."

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"Why not?" said Williams. "We were drunk when we came up with the name the first time."

And with that Stone reared back and held up both hands. "Wait for it," he said. Then intoned softly, as if he were betraying a confidence by uttering the word, "Witter."

"Witter?" we asked. "Witter," confirmed Stone.

"Why be a 'twit' when you can be a 'wit?'" added Williams.

"We've been working on this all afternoon, like I said," Biz said. "We've got it all worked out. It's like the Algonquin Round Table goes social."

"We're losing the 140 character limits," said Williams. "Don't need 'em anymore, since phones can handle more. But nothing can be longer than a three-line Dorothy Parker poem."

"These are the new aphorisms," Stone's face appeared big, red and bright, his glasses cocked. "We're done with updates about laundry and brand advocacy. This idea is going to make money."

Fred Wilson wheeled from the jukebox, nearly spilling his Dark and Stormy, and his face brightened noticably.

"Check the site yourself," said Stone, handing over his iPhone. "Just a couple hours in and already @thurber, @ross, @wolcott, @parker and @benchley are taken."

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