Commentary

Is There A Search Marketer In The House?

Once, just once, I’d love to hear an announcement come over the PA system in some public venue: “Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. Is there a search marketer in the house?” 

Let me explain. Recently, a friend of mine was at a soccer tournament with our school team. One of the other parents had a sudden heart attack. My friend, who is in the medical field, swung into action and applied CPR. When the first response unit took over, one of the attendants told my friend that he had saved the parent’s life.

Longtime readers will know I’ve had a long-running identity crisis about my choice of career. This recent incident led me to wonder if there will ever come a time when my knowledge and experience will be considered critical. Will I ever save a life?

It doesn’t even have to be that dramatic. If you’re a mechanic and see a stranded motorist on the side of the road, chances are you can help. All I could do is pull over, gaze in confusion under the hood, kick a tire and explain why you should really optimize your landing pages to get the most from your search marketing campaign. 

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My father-in-law, who has been a carpenter all his life, can walk into most any home and fix the drawer that sticks, or put up a set of shelves. That same father-in-law can’t help a sharp and panicked intake of breathe every time he sees me pick up a power tool. My wife has acquired the same habit. Neither can explain exactly what I do, and they’ve both known me for a quarter century.

Even an accountant will constantly be asked for tax advice, a lawyer about a particularly sticky divorce, or a veterinarian about Pookie’s unfortunate habit of passing noxious gas when company’s over (and yes, Pookie is a dog). Each of these careers contributes something to the greater good of mankind. But a search marketer? We’re just not in hot demand to make the world a better place. 

In my fantasy, after the aforementioned announcement, I raise my hand and confidently stride forward: “I’m a trained search marketer. What’s the problem?” 

“Thank God you’re here,” says the announcer, pointing to an obviously troubled man staring at a laptop. “This gentlemen here is extremely upset.”

Beaming with quiet confidence, I gently sit down beside the man and say, “Sir, I’ve been a search marketer for almost 20 years. How can I help you?”

Through his tears, I can see a small twinkle in his eye that indicates that he’s dared to hope again. “I don’t understand it. I just can’t get this damned site to rank.”

“Well, here’s your problem -- your title tags aren’t optimized. And your incoming links have no anchor text. I can fix that.”

As I take the laptop from his trembling hands, a single person in the circle of onlookers who have been drawn by the scene starts clapping. Slowing, it spreads around the circle. In minutes, uproarious cheering and clapping surround me. Outwardly, I respond with gracious humility, but inside, I’m high-fiving myself and saying, “Yah..who’s da man? I’m da man!”

Maybe there should be a medal for search marketing bravery.

 

4 comments about "Is There A Search Marketer In The House?".
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  1. Mark Osborne from WebMetro, December 8, 2011 at 11:55 a.m.

    What about charities or Pro Bono marketing work? I've actually worked with a few worthy causes to build plans and make changes to sites and ad campaigns. It takes a little more creativity than traditional marketing objectives, but it can make a big impact! You 'da man!

  2. Nicholas Fiekowsky from (personal opinion), December 8, 2011 at 12:03 p.m.

    Gord,

    I wish I had been blessed with your invisibility.

    When I was active in search, trouble started as soon as the words, "web search" or "Google" passed my lips. People gathered to ask how they could make their company, volunteer organization or blog pages more visible on search engines.

    Your knowledge won't dramatically save a life, but it does save companies, clubs and careers.

    Keep it up,

    Nick F.

  3. Bert Shlensky from stretchandcover , December 11, 2011 at 12:01 p.m.

    it is really getting there . everyone has a web site and everyone is getting upset that they don't acheive instant success . however it is like weight loss everyone has solutions but there are few succeses that most people can afford

  4. Jeff Emmerson from Freelance, December 14, 2011 at 9:29 a.m.

    Wow - such transparency and sincere concern for following one's heart could not be more heartfelt, especially by those of us in the industry.

    Existential...I know it only too well. I wish you peace in your future, wherever the winding road takes you.

    Thank you for sharing!

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