Commentary

ABC News' 'The Brothelette'

NEWS ITEM: A recent "Good Morning America" interview with supermodel Gisele Bundchen and Olympian Lindsey Vonn about their new Under Armour advertising campaign was paid for by Under Armour.

VO: From ABC News world headquarters, this is "ABC World News Tonight" with David Muir.

Muir: Good evening. In this broadcast, the Islamic State is poised to overwhelm another Iraqi city, the president puts the brakes on immigration reform out of naked political expediency and Russia’s Vladimir Putin threatens nuclear war, but we begin tonight’s broadcast with a revolutionary new Clorox bleach that doesn’t fade even your brightly colored prints.

Team coverage tonight on the remarkable new campaign for the disruptive laundry product they simply call “Smart Seek.” From New York City’s Fashion Week, correspondent Linsey Davis reports.

[Tape clip from Clorox ad]:  “New Smart Seek bleach from Clorox is specially formulated to let you wash your whites, and your whites with a little color, together in the same load. Clorox Smart Seek bleach. Whitening just got smarter!”

advertisement

advertisement

Davis:  It is a dream come true for housewives and househusbands alike: dumping the whole hamper into the washer without the tedious sorting and lingering fear…

[Soundbite, housewife Janice DeFrancini-Glick]:  I used to sit in the laundry room sobbing. Separating and sobbing, because I have so many whites, and so many colorful mix-and-match separates. What if they should run? What if??!!

Davis: Janice DeFrancini-Glick, of Forest Hills, New York, was a victim of lagging laundry technology. The world was developing digital thermostats and monoclonal antibodies for fighting cancer, but when her husband’s white briefs turned pink, nobody seemed to care.

[Soundbite, housewife Janice DeFrancini-Glick]:  I was desperate. I didn’t sleep well. I blamed the Jews. But then Clorox came to my rescue. New Smart Seek bleach is specially formulated to let you wash your whites, and your whites with a little color, together in the same load. Whitening just got smarter.

[B-roll of Clorox chemists in white lab coats and goggles pouring from a beaker to a flask.]

Davis: It all happened here, the Clorox research labs in Oakland, California, in response to an inquiry from fashion designer Cloey De La Rox.

[Soundbite, designer Cloey De La Rox.] My new line of cotton print panties is fun, fun, fun -- but what if the super contemporary patterns leached into the white background? Jesus Christ, I get nauseous just imagining it.

Davis: That’s when Clorox scientists got on the case, mixing chlorine with other space-age liquids to alter the laundry trajectory of the planet. From the laboratory to the runway…

[B-roll of models walking runway in De La Rox panties]…

…where the models run, but not the colors. Reporting from New York’s Fashion Week, I’m Linsey Davis.

Muir: Thank you Linsey. Just to be clear: You interviewed Cloey De La Rox. Does she actually exist?

Davis: David, yes and no. She is a spokescharacter for Clorox Smart Seek. An actress playing a fashion designer. But she told ABC News that as a working mom, washday tedium was a huge problem for her. She considered suicide, but now whitening has gotten, well, just a little bit smarter.

Muir: Thanks again, Linsey. Linsey Davis in New York. Coming up, is that handsome sedan really a Buick? And Ebola kills Belgium. After this word from our sponsor:

[Commercial for Buick.]

 

 

 

 

 

4 comments about "ABC News' 'The Brothelette'".
Check to receive email when comments are posted.
  1. Steve Schildwachter from BrightStar Care, September 9, 2014 at 10:54 a.m.

    Bob, the funniest part of this piece is how accurately you nailed the voice of network TV news anchors and reporters. Even if it hasn't gotten quite this bad, this is how they talk. Beautiful. Well done.

  2. Len Stein from Visibility Public Relations, September 9, 2014 at 10:56 a.m.

    that's it - the "natives" are in control.. all truth is lost...

  3. George Simpson from George H. Simpson Communications, September 9, 2014 at 12:28 p.m.

    So true...sad, but certainly the future the way we are heading...

  4. Michelle Bailey from Imaginasium, September 9, 2014 at 3:02 p.m.

    You missed the #hashtag!

Next story loading loading..