Ode To The Weary Holiday Shopper

Well, there's one more frantic weekend of shopping for all of you last-minute holiday gift seekers. That's for Christmas anyway. Which is kind of what this column is about. And the shopping experience.

It features a poem--a variation on the Clement Clarke Moore classic, "A Visit From St. Nicholas” (popularly referred to as “The Night Before Christmas")  called "Just Before Christmas (A Shopper's Wish List).” It's about the trials and tribulations of shopping during the holiday season, or any season really, and prospects for an improved experience--online or off--presented by the clever folks at Geometry Global.

So, all you Adlanders out there who have been working overtime in recent weeks to help your clients make their nut for the year, give this Geometry rhyme a read.

If not now, maybe this weekend on your mobile device while you're finally searching for that perfect gift for your perfect someone. Or, more likely, multiple gifts for that someone, family and friends. Perhaps while you’re taking a breather from the gift gathering and waiting in line at Starbucks for a caffeine jolt to help you on your mission.



The poem is, after all, mostly about you. Happy Holidays.


‘Twas just before Christmas and today’s shoppers knew

The retail experience could use an upgrade or two

Reading online reviews all snug in their beds

Visions of that perfect gift danced in their heads

Imagine, they thought, how great it would be

If these online ads were all tailored to me

Time would be saved, and extra money abound

Should the best item, when searched, always be found

If relevant deals always knew where you were

they could target promotions to him and to her

Helpful help, in short, is never turned away

More advice on my phone? Why yes, please! Hurray!

While riffing on phone things all twinkling and new

Perhaps an app could bring stock counts to you

There’d be no more need to drive all about town

Spending long winter’s days finding coats packed with down

Isn’t technology grand? O! It’s a joy to behold

But many shoppers feared that it grew a bit bold

Some worried of retailers throwing open the sash

to their personal info, their privacy dashed

Discretion! Security! Was the call of each

Keep our personal data tucked far out of reach

See, pre-digital values will still find their voice

Like when it comes time to make that big choice

To inform their purchase, real-life research is key

Touching and examining – does this item suit me?

So onward, onward, into the stores

We’ve only the space for a few wishes more

Devices were held to barcodes with dreams

that pushing a button would bring info in reams

Those codes won’t divulge any wisdom quite yet

Give tech a bit longer, we’ll soon see it, I bet

Here’s one big thing that can’t come quick enough

Making online and real world all seamless and stuff

These connected shoppers all commonly held

That online and physical spaces should meld

Make our shopping experience as smooth as you can

Whether purchasing online or off is our plan

Now lastly, yes lastly, but most important of all

Let’s spend the end on a unanimous call

For an overwhelming wish was to be treated well

Respect me, listen now, don’t try just to sell

I have questions that need answering, and oh, if you please

Accept this returned item with the utmost of ease

And here this rhymed story abruptly must stop

Happy searching to all and to all a good shop!

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