• by Sarah Mahoney  @mahoney_sarah, February 11, 2015

Whole Foods Markets doesn’t want anyone to be lonely this Valentine’s Day. And in this new video, the retailer guarantees it stocks “zee highest quality and zee best selection of — single people in zee entire country.” Not only are you likely to find your dream lover while contemplating organic salad greens, “when you do we've got your back.” In his cheesy French accent, the narrator offers plenty of earth-loving pillow-talk tips, including “pour her some biodynamic wine” and “take her to your repurposed mobile home.”