• by Larry Dobrow , Featured Columnist, September 25, 2015

I like my hockey masks to accommodate a range of fabrics and inseams. I won’t use a sunscreen not formally affiliated with a think tank. If my teleconferencing software doesn’t offer vegetarian and decaf options, I will find one that does. Senseless-contrarian is how I roll. If you can’t handle it, get off the ship before it leaves the train depot.

Thus I couldn’t be happier to learn that my business-travel hotel of choice has modestly progressive taste in music. That’s the main takeaway from three brand videos recently debuted by Renaissance Hotels as part of the chain’s “it’s business unusual” campaign, in which it attempts to lure business travelers – right up there with bomb defusers and jittery matriarchs in terms of their love of surprises – with the promise of quirky, edgy experiences. This makes perfect sense in my world, where the sky is orange and the grass is also orange, as are the oranges.

And so, instead of harping on business-as-usual niceties like expedited check-in or mattress tectonics, Renaissance presents us with DJ A-Trak. In “Room Service Feat. A-Trak: Action,” we first catch a glimpse of him reclining on a Renaissance bed. Like most weary business travelers, he’s wearing Chuck Taylors - shoes on a clean, made bed? Sacrilege! - and diddling around with his phone. Ding ding goes the doorbell and in comes his room-service order.

He removes the chrome plate covers to reveal… a club sandwich with fries? A grilled cheese or close relation thereto? No! He receives a pair of pro-style headphones on one plate and a turntable on the other, once again replicating the experience of myriad business travelers in myriad basic-need-accommodating hotels. This appears to confuse him.

Trooper that he is, A-Trak composes himself and downshifts into DJ mode. He spends the next minute doing DJ things in a room that’s suddenly populated by numerous lamps shaped like bird cages. He finishes up, then the hotel attendant retrieves the room-service cart. The end.

It is here that I pause to question the wisdom of branding a hotel as a destination for business travelers, cool or otherwise, by suggesting that a DJ will set up shop in the room next door. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Every major brand should hire a CAYSDO (chief are-you-SURE-dude? officer) and position him/her as the final arbiter of common sense. “Loud music nearby? Hmm. Perhaps that won’t fly with individuals whose primary use of a lodging facility is for sleep.”

The other two “business unusual” clips are harmless enough. In one, a very authentic roots act (you know they’re authentic because there’s a mandolin) classes up happy hour by singing one of its very authentic rootsy songs. In another, a band livelies up an elevator trip with out-of-tune whistling and subtle percussive flourishes. There is nothing offensive or extraordinary about either performance.

So the point here is what? That it’s futile to appeal to business travelers in the manner that hotel chains traditionally have (by hyping comfortable beds and related amenities)? Whatever Renaissance’s marketers were thinking, I don’t get it. But hey, good on them for giving a few lesser-known musicians a boost. The bands benefit more than the brand.