• by Richard Whitman , Columnist, October 20, 2015

Oh, the faux press release. Every once in a while they rear their head by grabbing our head and unceremoniously dunking it in a bucket of cold water as if to scream, "Wake up you stupid idiot and stop acting like a moron!"

And so New York-based agency Deare/2 partnered with intriguingly interesting startup agency BigEyeWish to mock the ridiculousness of present-day agency models, and also, that recent rant from PepsiCo President Brad Jakeman.

The first half of the release has a field day with the whole agency of record thing: "In a blatant effort to capitalize on the youthful energy and nimble network of an upstart new agency, veteran agency Deare|2 has announced the hiring of BigEyedWish to help raise its profile. 

In a shockingly overstated follow-up, BigEyedWish named itself Agency of Record for the more experienced and accomplished Deare|2. (An announcement made at least partially believable as BigEyedWish recently won new business projects for the New Jersey Devils, Freshpet, Hex Performance and Paul Drish.)

In a subsequent announcement, both agencies agreed to drop any Agency of Record reference, as it was made purely to tweak the ancient arrangement that still defines many agency/client relationships today. (As well as the mind-numbing sameness of most press releases.)

Of course, this being a mock press release from a couple of ad agencies, there's a dollop of self-promotion and positioning aimed at setting apart the two agencies from the rest of the herd...all while continuing the mockery of a highly congratulatory and egocentric industry:

"In a final statement, BigEyedWish and Deare|2 announced their genuine excitement to work together, without labels, in the way smart people have for years: bringing their strengths and differences together to benefit each other, and their clients.”

“Said Ian Wishingrad, Founder and Creative Director for BigEyedWish: ‘Jennifer (Deare) is a master of client service with over three decades of big brand experience in our industry -- you can't conjure up that type of authority out of nowhere. My plan is to bring her unique services and offerings to a whole new generation. Plain and simple.’ 

Said Deare, the owner of Deare 2, 'Ian and BigEyedWish operate a nimble network that's going to help us attract a younger generation of clients who can benefit from our unique expertise. Having said that, I look forward to teaching this kid a few new things myself'."

It's kind of funny. Although I think Jakeman's rant was a far more substantial takedown of the many things that just aren't working today in the ad industry.