• by Richard Whitman , Columnist, February 16, 2016

Two award-winning ad guys, Sean Farrell and Ian Kalman -- who, together, have worked on Budweiser Lizards and Got Milk -- have launched Bald Guy Greetings, a greeting card company that promises card buyers a funny card that's actually funny. 

The cards are adorned with awkward-looking monsters and strange characters along with witty text developed for those who don't mince words. Yes, they use the word "retarded." The cards are now available in Target stores and independent retailers.

The cards cover the usual occasions as well as the not-so-usual (at least by greeting card standards) including offbeat greetings like Let's Grab a Drink Sometime, Sorry to Hear about Your Breakup, Congrats on your Sex Change, Sorry to Hear You Lost Your Job and Happy Groundhog Day.

Farrell's fabulously boozy, cunning, edgy, awkward black pen drawings are incredibly expressive and set the stage for Kalman's witty prose that awaits inside. Bald Guy Greetings are impossible to forget and because of the duo's background in the ad biz, they hit upon modern cultural references with cards such as:

One card carries the headline "This is Oprah's Favorite Birthday Card" and a rendering of a woman who looks like Oprah reading the card. Inside the card reads: "Not the super famous Oprah. The other one." Which refers to a girl named Oprah Winfrey who, in 2007, appeared on Oprah's show.

Apparently Princess Kate Middleton was sent a card featuring the image of a bucktoothed princess looking at the front of the "Happy Birthday, Princess" card. Inside the card reads, reads: "If you're a little girl and I gave you this card, it's because I think you're amazing. But if you're a guy and I gave you this card, I'm kind of making fun of you. I hope that's cool. And, if you're an actual princess, I didn't get you a gift because, come on, what do you get a princess?" 

The card caught the attention of OK! Magazine, Radar Online and The National Enquirer.

One card refers to Tom Cruise and reads: "You Complete Me." Inside it says: "And I don't mean that in the overly used Jerry Maguire kind of way. I mean it from the bottom of my heart. My life truly would not be the same without you. But I do wish you were less controlling."

Haha. Funny. 

You can check the cards out here.