VH1, Advertisers 0

Advertisers Pull Out of “Dating Naked” Over Taste Concerns 

                          – news item

To: Julie Lyle, CMO, HH Gregg; Dana Anderson, CMO, Mondelez;  Jens-Martin Schwaerzler, president, Henkel Consumer Goods.

From: Chris McCarthy, president, VH1

On behalf of VH1 and the entire Viacom family of companies, permit me to express my concerns over the recent program-standards snafu. It seems you were each dismayed to find your spots placed in our exciting, romantic reality show, “Dating Naked.” In these days of postmodern irony, we suppose you did not recognize our winking allusion to the show’s premise, which is about naked dating. My apologies, first of all, for our too-hip-for-the-room obscurity.



We do endeavor to consider the sensibilities of our valued advertisers and their audiences. We assure you we go to great lengths to provide a positive, wholesome viewing experience for the entire family. As such, we have pioneered an editing technique that blurs detail of genitals. We call it Peni-xilation (patent pending) and as we say here at Viacom, “If you can’t see the rim, are you really sure it’s him?”

You may ask, why is there a dating show produced in the nude? And here I must get a bit peevish. You might just as easily ask, why does man explore the planets? Why does he conquer Everest? Why does he seek the mysteries of disease? The answer, of course, is: because these cast members are totally hot. 

Imagine yourself with one. Hoo boy. Bang-o-rama.

Thus, Mr. Schwaerzler, I also must take exception to Henkel’s characterization ofgratuitous sexuality.” At “Dating Naked,” producers make certain all sexual references and activity are (blurred) organic to the storyline, which is about these characters totally getting it on. I mean, seriously, they aren’t there for the conch shells.

But at the same time, it is possible to understand how you may have felt the editorial environment was not an ideal fit with your brands. That is why we are excited to announce some upcoming productions which we believe will capture the loyalty of the audience without unduly raising eyebrows or colliding with your corporate values.

We do ask you to keep this information confidential, as we have officially announced nothing to the press. But stay tuned for a fall season that includes: 

“Little Labor Day,” an endurance reality game that pits preschoolers against one another in piecework on location at an exotic Pacific Rim textile factory.

“Top Autopsy!” in which top medical examiners perform postmortems with zany items collected from studio-audience members.

“Coitus Interruptus,” featuring the hottest models and out-of-work actors in flagrante delicto, where they -- and the audience -- are shown images of war atrocities until only one manhood is left standing.

“Urban Pictionary.” In this provocative twist on strip poker, hosted by the witty Oscar Q. “Dirty” Sanchez, porn stars vie to illustrate the most colorful terms from the Urban Dictionary. Plus, Saturday  morning: “Urban Pictionary 4 Kidz.” (Don’t worry! We “pee-pee-pixilate” that, too.)


7 comments about "VH1, Advertisers 0".
Check to receive email when comments are posted.
  1. Ed Papazian from Media Dynamics, July 18, 2016 at 9:25 a.m.

    Very funny, Bob----but in this era of "edgy" TV it may not be too long before some of your hypothetical series ideas---they are hypothetical, tounge-in-cheek ideas , aren't they?---get picked up by one of our youth-oriented  cable channels or SVOD.

  2. Bob Gordon from The Auto Channel, July 18, 2016 at 2:09 p.m.

    Hi Bob, can you get me the name of the VH1 creative guy.. we have been proposing a segmnet for The Auto Channel called Blow Job Reviews, where new car front seats are trested to see if the performance of cunninlingus at any speed is possible...

    "Will the  blowers head fit under the steering wheel?" Is the between the seats console low enough for the blower to lean across and do the deed on a normal size receptor? Does any errant ejaculate easily wipe off the seat or carpet or even door panels? Can the blowee still reach the brake and gas pedals during "it" or is auto-pilot nessasary.

    With edginess the mantra for today's video programs we here at The Autop Channel believe that this show will attract an audience of big spending engorged and bored and still living in their parents basment millenials, and make a big splurt in the ratings... wadda ya think?

  3. Len Stein from Visibility Public Relations, July 18, 2016 at 2:20 p.m.

    Robert, is this for real or late april fools? I especially love how they plan to blur the 'gtails', a word I think I'll copyright.

  4. Len Stein from Visibility Public Relations replied, July 18, 2016 at 2:21 p.m.

    sign, I've seen billboard for the show- is too real

  5. Ken Kurtz from creative license, July 18, 2016 at 2:36 p.m.

    Advertisers are pulling out of that dumbass VH1 show for the same reason that Playboy, and Penthouse are defunct as we knew them for decades.

    There are no eyeballs for them.

    It's a dumbass show, and on top of that, it's not titillating in any way, shape, or form. The surprise is that there have EVER been advertisers willing to be associated with something so ridiculous, and passe. Really, that even a single "pull-out" is necessary is the news story...

  6. Paula Lynn from Who Else Unlimited, July 18, 2016 at 2:59 p.m.

    Fits right in with the selfishie generations. How desperate are these people ? Kinda makes you want to slap them upside their heads. 

  7. Garrett Donaldson from JKR Advertising & Marketing, July 18, 2016 at 5:09 p.m.

    Blur (pixelate?) the gtails --- so that's why they call 'em 'naughty bits"! 

Next story loading loading..