• by Cory Treffiletti , Featured Contributor, September 4, 2024

Think back to the last interview you did to hire someone for your company.   Was there a meaningful conversation, and did the candidate convey the reasons why they would be a good hire for your open role?  Most importantly, did they look you in the eye?

I find the interview process has shifted as a result of Zoom and online collaboration tools. Looking someone in the eye when you speak to them is now a lost art. The fact is that 50% of work-related engagement, if not more, is now done over screens, and most people look at the screen rather than into a camera for these conversations. That habit is starting to translate over to the physical world, where people’s eyes will wander during a conversation.

Making eye contact creates a deeper connection between two people, and it lends legitimacy to the conversation.

There are natural “wanders” that happen when two people are talking, and those can be OK, like the “up and to the right” glance that signals someone is thinking about an answer more intently.  Or the “off and to the left” glance, which can signal when they are making something up or telling a small lie.  These are often called “tells” and they are a natural part of conversation and body language.  They are less bothersome.

What worries me are the people who look past you and around you and through you as if you were in the way of what is actually important – or the times when someone simply looks down when talking to you because they are used to being offscreen on calls, and eye contact makes them uncomfortable.  These are bad habits that if left uncorrected can permeate the rest of your career.

During COVID, people talked about whether the handshake or the hug would ever come back.  These were habits for greetings or saying goodbye, and they helped people stay connected.  Once COVID protocols were removed, people went back to them.

Eye contact is more nuanced, and it’s not something that is consciously being lost, but more indirectly due to the shift to screens.

I’m not saying that you must stare directly into the camera rather than looking at someone on a screen, but you should be sure that you do two things.

First, try to keep your eyes looking close to where the camera is, as you look into the digital representation of someone else’s eyes.  Don’t separate where the camera is from where you are looking, because that creates a disconnect between people.

Second, make a more concerted effort to look someone in the eye when you are speaking and meeting in person.  Don’t be distracted.  Don’t be uncomfortable.  Just look them in the eyes and enjoy the chance to talk to a real, live person.  This will do wonders to your connections and your ability to succeed in life.  I promise.

And be sure your kids know this, too.  This is a habit, much like using the word “like” to fill in every space in a sentence, that has to be broken early, in order to ensure it doesn’t halt your career growth.