• by Adam Buckman , Featured Columnist, October 30, 2024

Time sure flies when you’re having fun, and on that subject, we are already nearing the finish line of “The Golden Bachelorette.”

Premiering on ABC on September 18, the show’s two-part finale starts this week. Part 1 of the finale runs for 90 minutes from 8 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. Eastern on Wednesday, October 30.

Part 2 of the finale is scheduled for Wednesday, November 16, but before that, the obligatory “The Men Tell All” episode will be seen on Wednesday, November 9.

On the show’s final night, the bachelorette -- Joan Vassos, 61, of Rockville, Maryland -- will bestow the final rose on her choice for a new husband with whom to spend her golden years, unless her hoped-for TV-arranged marriage ends after three months like Gerry Turner’s of “The Golden Bachelor.”

Who has the inside track to win Joan’s hand? Judging by the ABC publicity photos arranged above from earlier in the season, it seemed as if two of the suitors were neck-and-neck.

How did they make out? One of them is still in the competition going into the finale -- the suitor named Chock (top row), a 60-year-old insurance executive from Wichita, Kansas.

The other -- Jordan H., 61 (bottom row), a sales manager from Chicago -- went home a bachelor in Episode 6 last week.

“Golden Bachelor” Gerry Turner’s journey to a TV wedding and off-camera divorce was one of the most talked-about TV shows of last season.

Audience tallies for “The Golden Bachelorette” do not appear to be keeping pace with the numbers for “The Golden Bachelor.”

Through its first five episodes, “The Golden Bachelorette” averaged 2.7 million total viewers per episode and a .29 rating in the demo, according to various reports.

“The Golden Bachelor” averaged 4.7 million viewers per episode over its entire season. (These numbers appear to be “live” ratings, with no accounting for multiplatform viewing.)

“The Golden Bachelorette” does not seem to be generating quite the same buzz either, although “buzz” can be difficult to quantify.

Even the TV Blog has neglected to pay attention to the show after devoting at least nine columns to “The Golden Bachelor” last fall and winter.

But by browsing the internet and ABC’s own publicity materials, it is easy to recognize some of the highlights.

One indisputable highlight had to be the appearance in Episode 4 of the crowd-pleasing, classic rock supergroup REO Speedwagon, who serenaded Joan and her remaining suitors with their hit song “Keep on Loving You.”

The song choice was vaguely puzzling, however, since part of the lyrics in the first stanza depicts the woman who is the subject of the song as a snake in the grass.

“You played dead, but you never bled. Instead, you lay still in the grass all coiled up and hissing.” Ya gotta love classic rock, right?