• by George Simpson , Featured Contributor, November 14, 2008

The U.K. Office of Communications apparently reported that 65% of kids ages 8 to 11 had Internet access at home in 2007. ("Hey Tommy, how'd you spell Jena Jamison?") Among children ages 12 to 15, the percentage rose to 75%. ("Dude, check out this YouTube...")

In addition, most young people in the U.K. are attached (almost literally) to their mobile phones, and spend hours sending SMS texts, photos and other personal content to their friends. Not unlike their American counterparts. This kind of obsessive use of digital media, some argue, short-circuits your ability to concentrate on long-form tasks such as reading books and simply thinking. Others disagree and think it's a good thing.

"Many experts contend that if young people try to absorb multiple streams of information at the same time, they'll make mistakes, slow down, and think less deeply and creatively," writes Don Tapscott, author of Grown Up Digital: How the Net Generation Is Changing Your World, and the founder and chairman of nGenera Insight,in the second of an eight-part serieson BusinessWeek.com. "My observation of hundreds of Net Geners leads me to a different conclusion: Net Geners are faster than I am at switching tasks and better at blocking out background noise. They can work effectively with music playing and news coming in from Facebook. They can keep up their social networks while they concentrate on work -- they seem to need this to feel comfortable. I think they've learned to live in a world where they're bombarded with information, so that they can block out the TV or other distractions while they focus on the task at hand. This is a powerful advantage in a digital environment that's buzzing with multiple streams of information."

IM: what are you doing?

IM Back: chilling

IM: my mother is so gay, all she does is yell at me about stopping xbox and turning down the music and stop watching TV when I do home work...

IM Back: true dat

IM: are you doing world history hw?

IM Back: yeah, on chapter 8, you watching Grey's?

IM: hang on got three txt coming in.....I'm away from my computer...cool, Sam just sent me the funniest video ever.. here take a look [link not provided in compliance with local ordinance defining pornographic]...yeah, I'm watching Grey's...I'd hit Lexie so hard, man...

IM Back: I just burned Monica a CD, check out this track [attachment not provided so that the record industry doesn't sue my ass off]... Quick, switch over to The Office...I love Dwight, he is my role model...You think Pam will dump Jim for that art guy in NY?

IM: nah Jim is cool....I can't get Haley to stop calling me...

IM Back: what does she want?

IM: answers for the test we took today...I had 'em in my phone and my calulator

IM Back: I texted Sam who was in gym and looked up all the answers I didn't have...I am SO going to Georgetown...

IM: have you applied yet?

IM Back: no! man, you have to write this a really long essay...like 300 words...I can't get it started

IM: fuck it... just Google and find an essay...change a couple words and it'll be about you...here is one I wrote for Wake, you can use it if you want....

IM Back: love it/p>

The story you have just read is an attempt to blend fact and fiction in a manner that provokes thought, and on a good day, merriment. It would be ill-advised to take any of it literally. Take it, rather, with the same humor with which it is intended. Cut and paste or link to it at your own peril.