• by October 24, 2003

ANYONE REMEMBER THE FLUSH-O-METER? - It seems some things never change where Nielsen measurements are concerned. In explaining some of the logistical challenges Nielsen Media Research encountered while developing its new ratings system for cinema-based advertising, Nielsen Cinema chief Paul Lindstrom tells the Riff why Nielsen settled on a method that measures movie attendance, not actual cinema advertising exposure. Acknowledging that the new cinema ratings are more akin to TV's "program ratings" than the kind of TV commercial ratings Madison Avenue has long desired, Lindstrom explains the problem: "What you've got, is a situation where we can, using this methodology, produce what we think is a very accurate number for the people who are going to the theater where commercials are being shown," he notes, adding, "What we don't know, is how many people arrived late to the theater and missed the commercials, or were in the bathroom when the ads were being shown." In the bathroom when the ads were being shown? It's not like that's something Nielsen hasn't encountered before, but the only thing the Riff is wondering is why hasn't someone come up with a bathroom advertising network? To paraphrase Willy Sutton, that seems to be where the money is.

WHAT A RUSH - Something good apparently has come out of Rush Limbaugh's admission that he is addicted to drugs: A lot of his fans now think he is human. At least that's what a survey conducted last weekend by Burke Inc. for Critical Mass Media (CCM) found. The poll found that 95% of Rush's listeners now feel: "Rush is human, he has made mistakes and is entitled to a second chance with a clean slate." In fact, most of those surveyed say they have actually gained more respect for Limbaugh following his admission and his departure from the airwaves. Only 8% said they have less respect for him. Interestingly, the sentiments were decidedly more mixed when it came to the rub-off Limbaugh's drug use would have on his sponsors. Slightly more than half (53%) of those questioned - keep in mind, these are self-described Limbaugh fans - said they would be more likely to use products and services offered by advertisers who stick with the show despite Limbaugh's current difficulties. While CCM did not disclose the share of listeners who might be turned off to such advertisers, the finding suggests nearly half may fall into that category, as well.

BUT DID HE CONDUCT ANY MOTHER-IN-LAW RESEARCH BEFORE WRITING THIS BOOK? - For people who have not yet signed up for the national Do-Not-Call list, a new eBook is offering novel ways of keeping such nuisance marketing calls at bay. The eBook, entitled "How To Monkey With Telemarketers (And All Other Phone Pests)," recommends humorous approaches to interrupting and hanging up on unwanted calls. "What used to be a chore will be turned into something entertaining," assures Ray Paul Sodini, the book's author, who says the methods work equally well on "heavy breathers, boring friends, pushy relatives, bill collectors, and prank callers" that unfortunately are not covered by the Do-Not-Call list. "Most of my readers now look forward to these calls," maintains Sodini, going so far as to suggest that, "Some are already starting to hope that this No-Call list will fail." Yeah, right. Clearly the Riff is not among those readers, but we also have to wonder about their senses of humor based on Sodini's "funny" ways out of telephone conversations. "I was once interrupted by some guy who told me that he really wanted to talk some more but, had just finished stuffing the last parts of his mother-in-law into the Hefty trash bag, and was therefore way behind schedule," said Sodini, a former telemarketer himself. "He hung up right after saying this, so the call was over in less than 15 seconds. All I could do was laugh and move on to the next call." Heh, heh, heh.