Holiday Shopping For That Special SEM In Your Life

by , Dec 17, 2012, 10:24 AM
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It's hard to take search marketing seriously these days. So I won't try. Instead, I'll offer light-hearted thoughts on some of the biggest challenges that we faced as an industry in 2012. Hopefully it will remind us of how petty our concerns are relative to the concerns of others. If nothing else, perhaps it will inspire some last-minute gift ideas. :)

I've always loved the holiday season. This time of year, my family and I count down the days until we take off for our annual holiday vacation on the beach. In fact, I find myself daydreaming about it through much of November and December -- don't tell my boss.

In last week's column I recounted 2012's biggest developments in the world of search engine marketing. Today, I thought it would be fun to list what will surely be the most sought-after holiday gifts by the SEMs in your life. If you're out of ideas, or looking for last-minute stocking stuffers, consider one (or all) of these gems:

1)    Paid Links – Seriously, who doesn't love a paid link or two? And how many times have you heard SEOs lamenting what could have been if they only had more directory or link farm links? It's the cowbell of best-practice SEO. In 2013 SEOs will have a fever, and that fever can only be helped with more paid links. Look for gift cards at a store near you.

2)    Facebook Likes – Similar to #1 above, but different in so many special ways. Buy brand loyalty one like at a time. Trust me when I say a like is a like, and if you want to show EdgeRank what you really think of it, hit it with quantity over quality. Nothing says social darling this holiday season than several thousand likes from fake or spammy Facebook profiles. Indulge. They deserve it.

3)    Google Freemium Coffee Mug (available exclusively at Brin's Bait-n-Switch) – This one's a beaut Clark, it's a beaut! The gift that keeps on giving this year is Google's own "Freemium" coffee mug. First, they'll come to rely on it. Coffee will never have tasted better. Then sometime many months from now, just when the temperature's right and the sugar and creamer are in place, Google Freemium mug will refuse to serve. He wants to be paid, buddy. Like his brothers Google Analytics Premium and Apps for Business, the free ride is over. 

4)    Google's (Not Provided) Holiday Cards - Perhaps you can't visit everyone who may or may not matter to you this year. Fear not. Google's (not provided) holiday cards are the perfect way to connect with those out-of-towners with messages that could be interpreted to say "I (not provided) you," or "Go (not provided) yourself." The choice is yours, and the ambiguity will provide hours of fun for everyone.

5)    Cecilia Gimenez-Commissioned AuthorShip Markup Head Shots - One of the celebrities to emerge in 2012 was Cecilia Gimenez, the 81-year-old Spanish woman who took it upon herself to "restore" the painting "Ecce Homo," a painting of Jesus Christ that had deteriorated with age. Ms. Gimenez's creation has since been referred to as "Potato Jesus," and become one of the Web's biggest memes of the year. With Google's AuthorRank gaining steam, now's the time to morph the likenesses of your closest SEO friends and family into a half potato, half monkey lookalike for future content they will author in the new year.

I'm hopeful these ideas have given you some much needed inspiration for your quest to seek out that one-of-a-kind gift for the special SEM in your life. And whatever you decide, remember, do not feed the penguins.

1 comment on "Holiday Shopping For That Special SEM In Your Life ".

  1. Noah Wieder from SearchBug, Inc.
    commented on: December 17, 2012 at 12:47 p.m.
    Ryan, Just in case you want to bestow a gift, #2 works fine for me :-) facebook.com/searchbuginc

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