• by John Gaffney , May 16, 2003

Other People's Riffs For The Week:

Why You Love/Hate Ted Turner: The ever quotable Ted told a Fortune magazine writer, "Right now I'm kind of like Rhett Butler walking out the door on his way to Charleston to look for a more noble life." ......."Or," he adds, "it's about sex!"

Underwritten Headline Of The Week: And in Ted's hometown, The Atlanta Journal Constitution ran a curtain raiser about Ted's old company that was led off with: "AOL Annual Meeting May Be A Bit Tense."

My Nomination For Best Use Of Ad Dollars By A Civic Organization:The New York Daily News reported this week that the city's largest police union unveiled a $100,000 advertising campaign yesterday that says officers are being pressured to meet illegal ticket quotas. In its "Don't Blame the Cop" campaign, the Patrolmen's Benevolent Association says the city is cracking down on drivers to raise cash. "It's a revenue builder to close the city's budget gap," PBA President Patrick Lynch says in a radio ad set to air next week. "And while the city's squeezing working people, police brass are squeezing cops to write as many high-priced summonses as possible." An officer writing a ticket is following a policy and is "just as unhappy as you, maybe more so," said the newspaper portion of the campaign.

Rudest Movie Review Of The Week: From Jason Katzman, film critic at The Colorado Daily: "Given the hype surrounding "The Matrix Reloaded," this movie had better instill in me shock, awe and the best orgasm of my life, twice. There hasn't been this much hype leveled at an unsuspecting public since McDonald's reloaded McRibs. The reality, however, is about as disappointing -- chewy, not meaty; processed, not fresh; and masked with a secret sauce of special effects."