• by Josh Perlstein , Op-Ed Contributor, July 19, 2011

When you break it down, relationships between brands and moms aren't that different from relationships between two people. In fact, there are key components that apply to both. And I'd like to oversimplify the similarities, because that's how my brain works.

The Nature of Mom-Brand Relationships

First, like relationships between two people, mom-brand relationships have to add value in both directions. Just as moms get value from and give value to friends, there's similar give-and-take interaction between moms and the brands with which they've opted into a relationship. Otherwise, what's the point?

Second, mom-brand relationships and person-to-person relationships are based on trust that goes both ways also. Third, these relationships must be relevant. Moms want something meaningful from their friends and the brands they like. Otherwise, they're wasting their time. And they're too busy for that. Similarly, brands want something relevant from moms -- like feedback on new products, user experience, etc.

Fourth, people are happier when relationships scale. Moms find greater personal value when they have connections with a lot of other moms. Similarly, having a lot of relationships with moms increases value for brands, but they have to scale their connections to a much greater degree -- into the millions for some brands. A brand can have the best relationships in the world with 20 moms, but it's not going to do it much good. The brand has to make its mom relationship base bigger to impact its bottom line.

Fifth, relationships can become richer via advocacy. Moms love to promote friends within their social circle. It's a form of altruism that elevates moms in the eyes of others just as it elevates their friends. Brands can benefit from moms' altruistic inclinations when moms rave about a product to friends. This heartfelt advocacy can grow sales and inspire others to opt into a relationship with the brand.

These tips are applicable to all consumers, not just moms. But this article focuses on moms because they control an estimated 85% of household spending and they exhibit social and advocacy tendencies that can help brands increase sales, relationships and awareness.

5 Tips for Building a Force of Moms

Based on these relationship components, here are simple things you can do to humanize interactions with moms in digital environments and transform your relationship marketing program to create and scale connections. For emphasis, I use real-world examples.

1. Establish value. The first question moms ask when they see your offer is: "Why do I want to get an email or Facebook message from you? That's why you must establish your value proposition upfront. When we talk to moms about what's most important to them in email and social relationships with brands, savings and deals always rise to the top. Content is important, too -- as well as cause/purpose marketing. Similac's registration page for its New Mom relationship program clearly spells out value: fabulous offers, exclusive deals and community.

2. Establish trust: Transparency in information-gathering efforts establishes trust and increases registration completion rates. It makes moms feel trustful toward your brand. Let moms know why you're collecting their personal information and what you'll do with it. Make them feel comfortable. In an example from Pampers, the email address field launches a box explaining why the email address is being requested. Never ask consumers to give information blindly. Also, go one step further and show a sample of the communications you will be sending. When you set expectations, you get improved open rates.

3. Be relevant. Many brands send the same communications to every mom. An opportunity is being missed because critical data that would have enabled targeted messaging was not collected upfront. In its registration form, Campbell Soup asks consumers key questions about their behavior and preferences. As a result, Campbell can send targeted, relevant messages.

And here's a bonus point: Activate your relationships - immediately. Welcome messages have the highest open rates and enable brands to deliver on their value proposition. Send them immediately. That's what moms expect. For even better results, include an actionable offer. For example, the daily-deal service Zulily welcomes new moms and invites them to share with their friends to receive 10% off.

4. Focus on scaling your acquisitions. Your relationship program has to be big enough to pay for itself. It should leverage investments you've made in content, websites, etc. When acquiring consumers, these three elements have to balance: quality, cost and volume. How do you get the most qualified/influential moms at the most efficient cost and the right volume? That's why we draw from simple economics to see the acquisition of consumers' permission as a balance of destination and distribution: We can send everyone in the world to your website, but that's going to be expensive. The best approach is to distribute your acquisition capabilities and acquire moms where they are online. This would mean using tactics like co-registration, which is priced on a CPA basis. For example, when a mom signs up for newsletters from PlanningFamily.com, your offer would be one of several she is served.

5. Create advocacy. Leverage the social nature of motherhood. Make it easy for moms to share your offer with friends.

Pampers gives consumers the ability to upload their address book to share via email or on Facebook or Twitter. Consumers and the brand can see which friends took action as a result of the invitation to share. Pampers can then reward advocates with special offers. And consumers can see who in their social circle accepted the offer.