• by March 11, 2004

AND NOW A BLIPVERT FROM OUR SPONSOR - It's been a while since the Riff made an obscure, but insightful 1980s pop culture reference, but we were reminded of one Wednesday when Fox sales honcho Jon Nesvig told a room full of national advertisers, "Our unit of sale is going to be one second." When Nesvig floated that scenario during Wednesday's ANA Television Advertising Forum, he wasn't necessarily suggesting that Madison Avenue would soon replace 30-second spots with one-second ad messages, only that deals would likely move to combinations of one-second increments based on a one-second unit rate. But the notion of one-second advertising messages is something that was eerily prophesized by the mid-80s cult TV series "Max Headroom."

For those of you who're too young to remember and too old to recall, the show's storyline was set in a not-to-distant future that is eerily like the one we are living in now. Can you guess what year it took place? Yep, it was 2004, when the show's protagonist Edison Carter (an intrepid reporter, not unlike the Riff) uncovers a plot by corporate America to begin airing "blipverts," compressed TV commercials that would be played so fast, that viewers wouldn't be able to react quickly enough to zap them.

While we are sure this is a concept that may have actually been tested somewhere, sometime - and for all we know, may be going on right now - the "Max Headroom" version of blipverts had at least one nettlesome drawback: they caused TV viewers to spontaneously explode. Obviously, this would be bad for the business of most major marketers, and would also wreak havoc on Nielsen's sample, (we can only imagine the weighting scheme associated with this one), but at least it would be an ingenious solution to digital video recorders: "If you zap our ads, we'll blow you to smithereens."

Thank goodness, our 2004 isn't exactly like "Max Headroom's" 2004. In the TV version, books were illegal, because they kept people from watching TV. TV sets were provided to the poor to keep them occupied and docile. And it was even illegal for manufacturers to install "off switches" on TV sets. No, that's nothing like our society today, much to the chagrin of Madison Avenue. If anything, it seems there are forces afoot that would like to make it illegal to install "on switches" on TV sets.

As far-fetched as blipverts might seem, the notion of short, fractionalized TV spots apparently is not. The ANA panel kicked around scenarios that would bust the :30's hold on advertising formats, with a range of longer and shorter form options. "Maybe 12 [seconds] is right," suggested Nesvig.

This, of course, was an amazingly brilliant suggestion for a network sales exec, because if it is embraced, it would essentially expand the supply of network advertising inventory exponentially. If the Riff's math is right, and frankly it's not, that would mean the introduction of network advertising rate cards ranging from as low as $1,000 per second (run of day) to as much as $10,000 per second (primetime) for normal fare, based on regular rack rates. For something like the Super Bowl, Madison Avenue would be paying $75,000 per second. Whatever you do, don't blink.

Nesvig's "one second" unit remark was clearly the sound bite of the day, even if it was ABC sales chief Mike Shaw's "we are just a commercial delivery system" that got all the attention. But our favorite was a throwaway quip made by Nesvig just as his panel was wrapping up. It made the Riff chuckle, and just about everyone else in the room. Reflecting on his 30 years in network TV advertising sales, Nesvig noted that some things had changed about the network upfront. "We used to go home at night," he said, referring to the current practice of haggling into the wee hours." Another thing that has changed from his days as a young network sales exec at NBC is, "We used to get drunk at lunch." That one, at least, makes the Riff wonder.

REST IN PEACE - On a somber note, the Riff is once again saddened to learn of the passing of another legendary industry figure. Warren Pfaff, a longtime copywriter during the golden age of J. Walter Thompson, who later went on to found Warren Pfaff Advertising, died Wednesday. He was 74. Pfaff, who ultimately became known for the ads he created for high-end clients like Rolls Royce, also wrote one of Madison Avenue's most proletarian jingles. His "You deserve a break today" spot that so successfully positioned McDonald's as a ubiquitous American lifestyle product ultimately was named the top jingle of the 20th Century by Advertising Age. But it was Pfaff's original lyrics to that jingle that perhaps are the most appropriate endnote for today's column. It went something like this: "We're so near and far away, so get up and get away."