• by John Gaffney , July 28, 2002

The Culture Of Destruction: I guess for the Bush Administration a business meeting is a foursome playing a nice round of 18. Business development must be when you go for 36 holes and linger at the club afterward. This administration is noodling over a nasty spell of corporate deconstruction. It already affects the advertising world. Look at the hassles over pharmaceuticals, tobacco, liquor and financial services. It will affect the ad business on a more serious financial level, unless the powers that be take action. Here’s what I’m talking about. Press, consumer advocates and just plain old folks have sharpened the hatchet for any company with a decent bottom line. If you missed it, late last week an obese person sued McDonald’s for his health condition. And according to MSNBC on Sunday, junk food is the “new tobacco.” “An army is mobilizing in a war against junk food. The combatants: doctors, lawyers, preachers and moms.” Great. Wake up Bob Dole and call Johnnie Cochran. That means that junk food is the new cash cow for every convenience store junkie who thinks their age of terrorism jitters might be caused by too many Twinkies. Believe me, if the age of deconstruction isn’t met head on, it will take a few more bites out of a bad economic information. Tell Hostess that their Nickelodeon TV ads have to include potential side effects of overdosing on Ring Dings. Make all the McDonald’s ads have a crawler that says “please have the common sense to eat a carrot once a week.” What about coffee companies? Who’s coming for them? I think I’ll sue Starbucks for the speeding ticket I got last week, and for the nasty attitude I gave the overzealous young cop who decided five miles an hour over the speed was a worthwhile offense to spend his time on. There’s a fair amount of blood on the tracks for opportunistic groups who don’t understand that the economy is fueled by legit commerce, not disabling and distracting lawsuits. By the way, does the Bush cabinet even have a secretary of commerce?

Sumner’s Tales: The way you present your company to the world (not just Wall Street) has a lot to do with success. Look at Viacom. Despite the nasty little Sumner-Mel spat, Viacom presented nothing but a buttoned up, positive look in the midst of an insane year, and they come up with their first quarterly ad increase in a year.

You Go, Lance: Sports marketing is the big roll of the dice. You can come up lame and sign Terrell Davis, who hasn’t played in two years. Or you can roll sevens and get Lance Armstrong. Please tell me you wouldn’t like to see your brand on his back next time he takes on a race.