• by George Simpson , Featured Contributor, April 23, 2010

In order to protect your sanity, I suspect you use every possible program to stop spam. You can divert it at the enterprise level or by using settings in your email program (which should "learn" over time what is spam and what is not.) But I can assure you that Outlook makes all sorts of mistakes, and emails that make your inbox today can end up in junk email tomorrow. Happens all the time.

Recently my ATT enterprise email system -- in the process of handing off to partner Yahoo -- decided that lots of folks on my contact list were spammers, leading to heated arguments over "Why haven't you responded to my email?" and tangible (if you can do that over the phone) skepticism when I answered back, "I swear I never saw it." The only solution was to turn off the ATT enterprise level spam blocker. Holy shit! What I have been missing!

About six times a day my email address is picked by some foreign lottery to win hundreds of thousands, often millions, of dollars. People from all over the world, not just Nigeria any more, want me to help them make shady money transfers for which I will receive millions and millions. And I am apparently the last remaining heir to zillions of dollars in estates left untethered to any Last Will & Testament. Man, had I been paying closer attention I could have been living the high life in Bali.

Then there are the usual appeals to my sexuality suggesting that I could acquire some larger equipment that will remain erect almost indefinitely, after which I should respond to those who found my profile on some random dating site or agree to meet some luscious teens from Eastern Europe. I can only hope my wife of 21 years never sees those dating site profiles.

Frankly, all of this, while annoying, troubles me not nearly as much as spam inquiries and solicitation from within the advertising/ marketing community. Perhaps because of this column, I get a tad more of this than most folks -- but seriously, there appears to be no shame in what some companies will do to try and get business. I get scores of offers for direct mail lists, tools or programs that will help me target ads more effectively, creative agencies and PR services promising me "personalized" attention (once I respond to their bulk spam mail) and "experts" who think I can't live another minute without their services. I can excuse the ones from China since I know their best and brightest are otherwise employed hacking into U.S. companies to steal industrial and technological secrets, but I still get tons from the U.S.

My favorites are from PR companies that try to poach my clients. I often respond by asking if they realize they have reached the current PR firm? At times I even write the CEO and ask if they think this is a smart way to gin up new business? Probably just gets me on THEIR spam list.

Every time I send out a release (especially about new venture funding) I am deluged by companies who want to set up meetings with the beneficiaries of the funding, without noticing that there is no way in hell what they offer is a good fit for the client.

I appreciate that spray and pray is a byproduct of the ease with which one can now contact thousands with an offer or an appeal, but like most of you, I reserve a special place in hell for these people who need to understand they are doing more harm than good. Add Sender to Junk Senders List is still a pretty fast and simple comment in Outlook. And there ain't no gettin' off that list.