I was fortunate enough to have my company pay for coaching earlier in my career, and in addition I've had my own coach for many, many years now. I've learned a lot; among my most important lessons is s one thing I learned a while back that has helped me through many difficult times: "No matter what decision you make when faced with a difficult situation, the decision you made was the right decision for that moment in time."
It may sound a bit existential, or even a bit new-agey, but that one statement has helped me many times to get out of the downward spiral that can occur when you start second-guessing yourself and rethinking your past decisions. Being human means you're empowered with cognitive thought, but that can also be a debilitating thing. Human beings, and especially executives in mid- to large-sized companies, are constantly forced to make hard decisions. When you find yourself spending time and energy rehashing old situations, you have to catch yourself and realize that if you hadn't made the decision you made, then you wouldn't necessarily have the information you have now!
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What that means is, every decision, whether in retrospect was "right" or "wrong," leads you to an outcome -- and that outcome is a learning experience. When you make the "right" decision, you see the benefits. When you make the "wrong" decision, you learn from it - and hopefully that makes you smarter for the next similar situation that may arise. If you had made the opposing decision, you never would have had the benefit of the outcome that taught you what you needed to know.
Sometimes coaches are the most useful when they help you identify the learning experiences that come from making the "wrong" decision, which you may not have noticed yourself. Life is a series of experiences that help shape you into becoming the person you want to be. If those experiences are in a professional environment, then they shape the kind of professional you're going to be. If they are on a personal level, they have the same effect. What's most difficult is not keeping these two worlds separate, but rather identifying where learning from one world can and should be applied to the other.
The decisions that executives make, like hiring, firing, changing direction or going all in on a product idea; these are very heavy decisions. In almost all of these situations a human being is affected, and the executives are human beings so rarely do they take these decisions lightly. Inevitably the person making the decision will have to choose, and someone wins and someone loses. That's business, and that's life, but no one does it alone -- and a coach of some form can certainly help you to work with all the right information.
Have you ever used a coach? What did you learn that helped you the most? The folks reading this column would likely benefit, so please go to the Spin Board and share something you learned with the rest of us!
Important column as I believe we all need to be redirected by the sincere coaching of someone other than ourselves. My most important lesson was an exercise inviting each of ten respected colleagues to answer a series of questions about my personal style. I appreciated their varied honest responses. Their comments xplained more to me than I could see in the mirror and guided my next decision. Trusting in others is as important as in yourself.
Perhaps, you can add how to find and to determine which person will be the best coach to be chosen and when the process should begin. Many times, there is quite a change what you would be doing and what direction you turn. "Back in the day" I certainly would have welcomed your advise.
Good stuff Cory. I am a coach, a business coach. You've learned well. For the serious minded, every decision is the right decision. We learn nothing from doing everything right.
FJR