• by Sarah Mahoney  @mahoney_sarah, June 30, 2009

By now, we've all read enough stories about ill-mannered co-workers who text during meetings, nasty bosses who idolize Simon Cowell ("I'm just being honest with you!") and subordinates who snipe like characters from "The Office" or "Scrubs."

But Christine Pearson and Christine Porath, co-authors of The Cost of Bad Behavior (Portfolio), argue that this day-in, day-out workplace incivility is so pervasive that it's costing companies millions -- with each insult resulting in unproductive pouting and retaliation. It happens at all levels: The typical Fortune 1000 CEO says he spends seven weeks a year resolving employee conflicts.

And it's not bad enough that 95% of the national workforce routinely puts up with workplace incivilities, that one in five people say this major-league dissing happens at least once a week, or that 12% of all workers actually leave jobs because of rude co-workers. The authors -- both management professors -- believe the widespread rudeness oozes into advertising messages, and that rude corporate cultures pass those put-downs on to potential customers, as well as their employees.

Q: If you were to look at TV ratings, you'd think Americans love workplace nastiness -- "American Idol," "The Apprentice," "The Office," "Scrubs," even "The Simpsons." Do these shows influence the way we act at work?

Christine Pearson: No, I think it goes the other way. It's because we're so rude in the workplace that it has seeped into other media. TV replicates the worst-case scenarios we have in real life.

Q: Is it just our imagination, or does the world of marketing and advertising really attract extra-rude people, the out-of-the-box thinkers who can get away with treating people badly because they're so creative?

Christine Pearson: Actually, these people are everywhere. In any field, there are people who are considered special -- in some cases, they may run the IT department; in others, they may be the rainmakers, surgeons, or star athletes. They're the people who seem untouchable, even by those higher than them in the corporation -- there is this fear that cutting these talents loose may hurt the company, financially. But executives just need to do the math, and calculate how much that rude person is already costing them. Every instance of incivility cuts deeply into productivity.

Q: You could argue that advertising, often an uninvited guest, has always been rude. By definition, it interrupts something you want to do -- read a magazine, watch a program -- to persuade you to do something you probably don't want to do right now, like buy a car. And ads have been screaming at us for a long time. Is it getting ruder?

Christine Pearson: Yes. The more people try and tune it out -- through TiVo and no-call lists, for example -- the more invasive it has to become. But it's all perception -- when I'm online and see a pop-up, I've immediately got a negative reaction to that company. That might not be true for a different demographic. Marketers need to know how much rudeness their core demographic will tolerate. If the group you're targeting prefers to be addressed in a civil manner, well, that's an underserved market.

Q:One of the fastest-growing types of advertising is texting ads to people's cell phones. Is that keeping up with new technology, or just one step ruder than telemarketers invading at dinnertime?

Christine Porath: Well, it's certainly interesting, since cell phones have sparked so many other etiquette questions. Smartphones are especially problematic, in terms of etiquette. People are practically prisoners to their iPhones and BlackBerries, and constantly use them in meetings, in academic lectures, in church, and at dinner parties. They don't know how rude they seem. To most people, it's disrespectful and disruptive, yet the offenders don't even realize how much other people judge them for it.

Q: Is it evolving? Years ago, Americans followed strict rules about when to wear hats or white gloves, and dressed up for work; today, those rules are considered stuffy and old-fashioned. Will we eventually accept constant texting as polite, just because it's the norm?

Christine Porath: It could be, and even though everyone all around the constant texter interprets that behavior as bad manners, it's quite possible the offender thinks he is a polite person -- just very work-focused, or able to multitask -- he may not see the behavior as disrespectful at all. I've seen people try and work with the behavior -- for example, I know one professor who will say to a student who is clearly online during a lecture: "Would you mind searching for ______ for us?" But we think it's important to resist it -- to slow things down, and really be attentive to coworkers, clients and customers.