• by Larry Dobrow , July 14, 2004

When asked about their most humorous experience on the job, respondents to the MediaPost/InsightExpress survey about the role of humor in today's ad business were eager to share their tales - with the caveat that they wouldn't have to identify themselves. The list of experiences ranges from the bizarre ("talking with a supposed 'veteran' in the industry only to find out he wasn't sure of the difference between advertiser and publisher") to the sadly all-too-common ("sales reps who call on me and want to sell me something, not knowing what goals and objectives are"). And then, of course, there were those that defy easy characterization ("Someone mistaking me for Richard Pryor," "My god, it was nothing I could legally disclose"). Read on and giggle away.

"I had a media buyer pretend she had Tourette's in the middle of a negotiation. We got what we wanted."

"Back in the old days, I went to an international meeting with the Ecuatoriana Airline guys. All of them, and I mean all of them, had guns."

"The use of terminology makes me laugh for hours on end. For example, these 'experiential' marketers insist you need a 'brand-shake' in order to make sure your clients are known to each and every 'depository' (which means something else in my book, totally different than what they're talking about, which I refer to as a 'target'). But hey, that's why they're 'brand ambassadors.' Of course, we can't forget about the account managers who regularly check out creative shops and ask for their 'disposable,' which took me about two weeks to decipher as being a new name for a reel."

"I met Jennifer Aniston at the upfronts and I told her that she should thank me, since I contribute to her weekly $1 million paycheck. She did not find that comment very amusing."

"When purchasing 40 markets locally, there were times when I had to ask for 'favors' of last-minute buys in sold-out situations. Each market (primarily in the Southeast and Midwest) required different approaches to the local media reps to get what I wanted (tough tone with Chicago and Miami, sweet and helpless with Montgomery, Alabama, etc.). During one of my fast and furious Monday afternoon rounds of "begging" calls, the new secretary in our office called in my entire department to hear me switch from personality to personality. From that point on, I could never convince my coworkers that I did not have a split personality."

"A new media rep called on me and the buy I made was co-op'd. She asked me what that meant and I explained. Then she asked me 'what's a script?' I told her it was a piece of paper with words on it."

"Listening to Nielsen explain that they cannot meter technically difficult homes - like those with DVRs."

"I have been working in the interactive industry for about 6.5 years. In 2002, I was in a rep meeting with a local newspaper. The sales rep didn't know much about the online business, but was more than willing to give online media as added value. She went on to explain this to me, in the most sincere tone possible: 'I can offer you a unit we like to call a banner. It is 468 pixels tall by 60 pixels wide. Now, this is the good part: when a user is visiting our Web site, and they see this thing called a banner, they can click on the banner and it will take them to your Web site. Isn't that amazing?!'"

"Having a media supervisor, with years of experience on the job, confuse 'coverage' with 'composition' and run an inordinate amount of print space in TV Guide, SI and Parade for a high-end, luxury, niche SUV."

"Asking newspaper sales reps if their rates are net or gross, and they answer 'yes.'"

"Competing for media business, one of our company's salesman could never take no for an answer. As a result, we did a ton of spec buys that almost never came to reality. One day, the salesman breathlessly told the AE that he had 'a hot client' on the line. Then he asked what a great CPP for New York spot TV would be (with no demo or time of year). The AE calmly said '$10-20 CPP.' 'Wow!' said the salesman. 'Can you really go that low?' 'No, of course not,' said the AE. 'You asked for a great CPP and I gave you one.'"

"A client called today and has a surplus of small shoes, so he requested ads to reach the Korean population - and this is in Richmond, Virginia."

"One of my favorites was a quote from an ex-client who was in charge of approving a $50 million media plan. His famous comment, made when I presented the broadcast plan for his chain of retail stores, was, 'I don't know what a TRP is, but I know it's good to have a whole bunch of them.'"

""A TV rep started screaming at me because I didn't buy him. like the screaming was going to sell me?"

"I had an Asian woman call in and ask if I could do an advertisement where I flew a plane over Beverly Hills wishing a happy birthday to her husband. She could hardly speak English, but was so unintentionally hilarious I didn't bother telling her I couldn't do it until she'd gotten her whole spiel out."

"My CEO turned the tables on some reps and invited us all to his house for dinner. They proceeded to get drunk and one fell into his pool. I got a great discount on my next purchase."