• by George Simpson , Featured Contributor, March 11, 2004

The Association of National Advertisers announced that its Television Advertising Committee has developed a new system to replace the long- maligned TV upfront market.

Just a few days ago, the ANA Television Advertising Committee formed a sub- committee to deal with the upfront issue, assigning only executives from the major media agencies who were over 55 and too tired to stay up all night negotiating with the networks over pizza and bourbon. It took them less time than the Martha Stewart jury to come up with a solution.

Starting this year, the upfront market will be replaced by a draft patterned after the one used to attempt parity in professional sports leagues. Media agencies with the lowest billings from the previous year will get first picks of which network TV show they'd like to sponsor. There will be successive rounds until every network show has been selected. The agencies can then trade picks, or resell spots within shows they picked, to meet the requirements of their clients.

Media agencies will compensate the broadcast networks according to how high up in the draft the show was picked. A first-round pick like "CSI" is projected to get $425,000 for each :30 second spot in the show. A loser like, almost anything on the WB, will get bupkiss.

Unlike professional sports where players often sign multi-year contracts, the agencies relinquish "ownership" of the shows after one year and they are dumped back into the program pool. Each year the lowest rated shows will disappear from the pool and the networks' usual line-up of new shows will be mixed in with survivors from the previous season. Agencies are free to try and renegotiate their fees if the shows they draft under-perform the ratings.

The new system is not without controversy. In a prepared statement, David Verklin, CEO of Carat said, "I don't want to name any names, but I can think of more than one agency that is not aggressively pursuing new business in order to enhance its position for next season's draft. Clearly, they think they can make up this year's losses with new client wins next year when they can impress potential clients with their ad placements. I'm not certain we are yet on a level playing field." In the same press release Carat announced it was resigning Renault and Cadbury over "creative differences."

"Every new system has a few kinks, but we will iron them out, "says ANA President-CEO Bob Liodice, who will host the annual draft to be broadcast on ESPN4 on May 1st . "Not only will this eliminate the all-nighters and the bidding frenzy that characterized the old upfront, we think there will be a fair amount of drama as each agency president mounts the podium to announce their draft pick."

The producers of highly rated TV shows are planning a party at Q2, Woody Harrelson's new oxygen bar, to celebrate as their shows are selected. "I'm looking forward to wearing the yellow jersey all night long," says David E. Kelley, producer of "Ally McBeal," "The Practice," and "Boston Public." "At the end of the night it will be 'Steven who?' baby!"

FOX.com has already launched a fantasy league for erstwhile media agency presidents who are assembling programming flights for make-believe clients like Burger King, Clorox and Prilosec.

Johnny Wannamaker, a student at Loyal High School in Chicago who is active in the fantasy league said, "I think I have the right reach for Ford F-150, but I'm still working on the frequency. I was really hoping to get Monday Night Football, but I'm running out of cash fast."

The networks had no comment. "Rain, hail, lightening, thunder, the big three nets will never go under," said one highly placed network executive. "Ratings up, ratings down, 18-24 year old men lost in space, we'll still get our $9 billion."