Extended, Exclusive Mitsubishi Electric Cooling & Heating Spot is Anything But

by Larry Dobrow, Jul 10, 2012, 12:13 PM

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May I make a modest proposal? Let's do away with the notion of "Internet exclusive" in reference to marketing leftovers slopped on the web. TV ads and related interchangeable content have more potential viewership on the Internet than they do spread thinly across 32 basic-cable shows, a sizable percentage of which are rendered marketing-free via the miracle of DVR ad-vanishing. The only content that can make a legit claim to exclusivity are terrestrial-radio spots, which can't get repurposed and re-larded for after-the-fact web consumption, because they lack pretty videopictures and whatnot.

I bring this up in the wake of Mitsubishi Electric Cooling & Heating's repeated sponsored incursions into my Twitter feed. Apparently my complaints about summer's unfortunate triggering effect on my sweat glands have caught the attention of a Twitter algorithm, and I now find myself in the crosshairs of helpful marketers whose sole priority is helping me cool down and/or off. Mitsubishi EC&H has proven the most oppressively helpful of the lot, hitting me with dispatches about air-conditioning that would be more useful if my formative years had been spent in Somalia. Unlike the purveyors of fizzy electrolyte drinks and mesh-pitted athletic tops, however, they slap many of their techno-utterances with an "exclusive" tag.

So rather than weigh in on the extended exclusive too-hot-for-television Mitsubishi EC&H spot, an entirely competent and forgettable piece of marketing, I'd like to assess the clip's claim to exclusivity. My working theory is that nothing about it is remotely exclusive in any way, shape or form, beyond Mitsubishi EC&H's claims that the spot can only be seen on the Internet. Sure, one can view it on smart phones, tablets and 200 Internet-enabled devices. But on your television? No way, bub - unless your television is Internet-enabled, which lots of televisions are nowadays, or you've got one of those neat Roku boxes which Internet-enables the Internet-free.

So since that specious claim to exclusivity doesn't check out, perhaps there's something in the content that elevates, distinguishes or otherwise exclusivifies this ad above all others. Let's do a brief inventory of what we have here:

Lithe gals engaging in Kill Bill-ish swordplay: The concept of dueling selves/schizophrenia is rarely played for giggles, I admit, but there's nothing unique about two gals hashing out their differences Zorro-style. Verdict: Not exclusive.

An appeal to financial sanity: If the spot's central point is that Mitsubishi EC&H products help save cash, it might've been wiser to break down the precise savings (central A/C vs. their units). But god forbid any company should resist the lite-clever impulse and communicate in a way that might be informative. Verdict: Not exclusive.

Suggestive banter: "Heat makes me feel sticky" - I bet it does, honey. All together now: Repartee! Verdict: Not exclusive.

Hurtful insults about weight: Oh yeah - they went there. I'm not sure why the schizo-fencers chose this line of derogation, as both are reed-thin and toned. Perhaps "yo mama's apartment is a sauna" cut too close to the bone? Verdict: Not exclusive.

Wanton destruction of personal property: In commercials as in urban renewal, shit done gets blowed up. Here, we're limited to a shredded blouse or two in a closet rack stationed mid-apartment, which makes no practical sense. Verdict: Lame and not exclusive. Go hard or go home, people.

Voyeurism: The ad's end sequence shows the happy, dry-brow'd white couple across the way watching the gal fencing with herself. They shake their heads sadly and settle onto the couch in their silently cooled apartment, superior in every way that matters and several that don't. Yeah, there's totally no voyeurism on the Internet. Nothing about the Internet tips our voyeuristic tendencies. Nope. Verdict: Not exclusive.

In conclusion, there is nothing exclusive about the schizo-fencer spot beyond the fact that Mitsubishi EC&H says it is. Extended versions of commercials shouldn't be billed as "exclusive," unless access to them is truly limited - by a paywall, say, or a moat. Please adjust your lingo usage accordingly. Thank you.

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