• It Hurts To Lose Your Cool
    Apple ads work best when they follow the brand's traditional spot principle: show, don't sell. Its latest spot for Mac Air adds a pitchy note that suggests a brand feeling the need to remind us it is still "iconic"...isn't it?
  • Montana's Cookhouse And 'The SImpsons' Score WIth Light, Effortless Campaigns
    Meat makes me big (read: fat) and strong (read: fat). "The Simpsons," all these years later, makes me laugh. I can't conceive of a non-coronary-related or -deal-with-the-devil situation that would prompt me to tire of either. And in a wonderful column-facilitating coincidence, both meat and "The Simpsons" launched brand clips into the online ether this week. In an even more wonderful coincidence, they're both pretty awesome.
  • "Levi's Commuter: The Ride" Is Uninteresting, Just Like Your Commute
    Brand marketers need to curb their fascination with young professionals on the go - specifically, comely urbanites zooming past double-parked trucks and yippy unleashed dogs on their well-appointed bicycles. The latest offender: Levi's, which unveiled the first in its series of "Levi's Commuter: The Ride" vignettes earlier this week. The second and third entries, set in London and Oakland, will debut later in the summer.
  • Walmart Comes Across As Out Of Touch In Latest 'Growers' Stories' Videos
    Walmart. Nobody has a problem with Walmart, not labor activists or margin-pinched suppliers or candidates/organizations on the sad side of its PAC largesse, right? Walmart is good and decent and modest, and the bestest friend any family farmer will ever have, in this life or the next.
  • "Tesla: Origins" Is Full Of Sublime Self-Important Silliness
    What's the official Association For Ethical Comportment In Web Punditry Mislabeled As Journalism policy on graft-solicitation? I ask because I'd like a new Tesla and, in today's exercise, I have an opportunity to hail a Tesla brand endeavor as one of humankind's boldest artistic statements. If the association folks give the thumbs-up, I'm ready to break out the grandiloquent dictionary and start throwing around adjectives like "callithumpian," "xyresic" and "butyraceous."
  • Oreos Hits With One Brand Video, Misses With Movie Tie-In Piece
    Today in "brand tie-ins I don't understand, because I'm old and set in my ways and believe that everything was better when I was 19, except the Yankees and ease of non-library information retrieval": the new Oreos commercial that started airing earlier this week. Did anybody catch this? A kid on his bicycle happens upon a Transformers pileup on a rural road. Warily, he approaches the felled beast (are Transformers beasts, technically speaking? I was more a Q*bert kind of kid) and hands him/her/it an Oreo. Duly yummified, the Transformer gets off the turf, says, "Thanks, kid" (Transformers can talk?) ...
  • AT&T Hits Paydirt With "AT&T Official Unofficial Lab: Toddlers vs. Galaxy S5 Active"
    So, does anyone have any thoughts on the legal and humanitarian implications of modifying one of those invisible perimeter pet fences for use by/with a toddler? Say, a toddler who seems gravitationally drawn towards daddy's guitars? One whose hands are somehow permanently coated with melted cream cheese, even after a thorough scrubbing and a few hours in a hazmat tent? I'm asking for a friend.
  • Where Have All The Father's Day Ads Gone?

    When a sponsored Twitter-tweet popped into my media place this morning reporting that “only 20% of dads think they are accurately depicted in the media,” I was like, heck to the yizzle, we’re not. Dads in ads are bumblers with bellies. They routinely get outsmarted by the kids. Most seem to be afflicted with some kind of degenerative neurological condition, one that prevents them from executing even the most basic of tasks (“do not allow the pets to engage in acts of emotional congress”). I can only assume that their spouses stick around due to the enormity of their ...

  • 'How Far Would You Queue For Fantastic Delites Curls?' Is Far From Fantastic
    I don't know what Fantastic Delites Curls are, but I want them. That name sells the product by itself. "Fantastic" connotes superlative excellence, "Delites" connotes cheekily misspelled-for-effect wonderful happiness and "Curls" connotes state-of-the-art gastro-engineering. Fantastic Delites Curls - ooh, I bet they're crunchy and not straight. I could sell Fantastic Delites Curls, and I have the marketing IQ of a BlackBerry executive. Stick a professional extrovert on the street with a live mic, hand out product samples and ask whether Fantastic Delites Curls deliver upon the myriad promises and glories implicit in their name. Boom.
  • Adidas' World Cup Ad Campaign Looks Expensive And Average
    Brothers and sisters, I'm here today to set you free. I am giving you express, written permission to not give a crap about soccer during this summer's FIFA World Cup.
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