'Twas 52 nights before Chrismachanukwaanza, when at this one shop
Creatures were stirring, ideas flung nonstop.
Their mission was charted, the assignment was clear:
To make a holiday web-video thingie that teemed with good cheer.
They'd struggle with concept, they'd work through the night
But who needs another peace-be-yours card, right?
Via scenes of furious whimsy the clip would proclaim
That here, singularly on this or any other planet, work and play were the same.
It'd hype the firm's talent and play up its wit
And show that its people aren't full of… unappealing personal baggage.
So they dug up some props and scripted a script
And smiled as if their bonuses were dependent on it.
It starts in the loo and it ends on the lawn
In between, everyone indulges in song.
(It poaches a melody from Disney, I think.
It's totally not like Goofy, Esq., to raise a stink.)
The lyrics yip about "building favourite brands"
The choreography goes way too light on jazz hands.
I like the acknowledgement of creative frustration
Ad firms cop to this as often as they do to self-flagellation.
And then there's the 'tude; these folks are true believers
Yes, they could've lost the shout-out to Bieber.
But mostly they come across as decent and chill.
And in several instances, stoned out of their gills.
As for the naming of a clip MVP
Please: It's the hot chick who sings on key.
By night's end, onto YouTube the video had gone
Renown and virality would be theirs before long.
Except there was a catch, one thing did they forget:
People can be less than kind on the Internet.
When the clip was discovered, the pundits, they'd deride
The rhymes, the mirth, the workplace pride.
Amid the "worst holiday video ever!" proclamations
The creators were advised to find another vocation.
Upon watching, I confess, it occurred to me
That this thing felt like accidental self-parody.
But really, does it matter? At this time of year
We could all do worse than act a little sincere.
Everyone's eager, everyone's game
The clip doesn't tarnish the firm's good name.
It makes no grand promises, it fudges no facts
Jesus, people: #%$&ing relax.
I can't speak to their talent, whether from rooftops they should shout
But this holiday video ain't worth getting worked up about.
Anyway, I'm getting all, like, depiction-weary
Something something something else rhyming dictionary (medic!).
Thus as this seemed-like-a-good-idea-at-the-time enters the realm of pap:
Happy Chrismachanukwaanza to all. Thanks for reading my crap.