• by Wayne Friedman , Staff Writer, March 7, 2006

It's hard to argue against toilet paper in the wilderness--but keep your composure if ten rolls suddenly appear out of nowhere, complete with bathroom and loofa.

Procter & Gamble has been offering up product placement toiletries as gifts for winning CBS' "Survivor" challenges for years. Typically, other products are added to the mix--soap, shampoo, loofas, and, of course, toothpaste. Nothing like fresh breath during a snake hunt.

Its recent incarnation isn't much different. "Survivor: Panama" host Jeff Probst uncovers a nice and very non-organic supermarket-type display of bathroom items during "Survivor: Panama," telling the island-goers they are playing for a complete "Survivor Bathroom." Charmin is the featured item (evaluated and ranked via research firm iTVX as one of the five most effective product placements last week).

Glee and giggles come from the "Survivor" players. Then we move to a shot of the bathroom--an outhouse. We see Charmin on the lone wooden shelf above the toilet and then the name of the resting place itself, "Casa de Charmin." The Charmin stunt is in keeping with another P&G entertainment marketing effort where it would lug a specially branded Charmin restroom trailer to special outdoor events.

Still, Charmin on "Survivor" always fosters the wrong imagination: Like, what's the alternative? P&G has played its Charmin marketing efforts this way for some time--with a wink. But even with the honest appeal of needing necessities on an island, any branded product on "Survivor" always seems out of place.

Pop goes the placement

Pop-Tarts is one of those culturally hip foods with a subversive name. Even then it may not be appropriate for a young wannabe rap musician. "Kids food is bad for my image," says Bobby Jr. on UPN's "Girlfriends." That's all that the cookie/jelly/cake product got from the show--just a rap on non-rap foods.

In Touch Weekly takes on "Twins"

For the WB's show "Twins," Lee (Melanie Griffith) is reading In Touch Weekly magazine--specifically about Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson--when Charlie, played by none other than Nick Lachey, walks by. "Don't people ever get tired of reading about celebrity couples?" he says, with a nod to his soon-to-be ex-wife Jessica Simpson. Soon people will.

In Touch Weekly is never mentioned--which always seems a bit more creatively organic than actually naming names. The only other reference is from Lee, saying: "I picked up this trashy magazine at the supermarket." This touches consumers well.

Visa card can get you lots of clothes--but the devil will pay

Another reality show, TLC's "What Not to Wear," uses a plain-jane product placement to help outfit a womsn for a makeover. When she is handed a Visa charge card with $5,000 to spend, cheers erupt from her fellow shopping-inclined workers. The next scene she's in a NYC clothes store buying around $800 in duds. But this is too shocking for her, and so she crosses herself. That bit of product placement came religiously and guilt-free.