• by Karl Greenberg , Staff Writer, November 12, 2010

Tony Hsieh is on tour. The founder, CEO, resident bodhisattva and all-around deity of Internet shoe seller Zappos is taking the gospel of happiness to the peeps. Hsieh flew from Palm Springs to New York for a day to tell senior marketing executives attending the Conference Board this week that if their companies are not focused on making both employees and customers happy, they have crossed over to the dark side.

After his speech, Hsieh -- who grew up, by the way, near George Lucas' Skywalker Ranch -- flew to Vegas, where he had dinner at a very nice place whose name I can't remember, before boarding the private jet, Millennium Falcon, bound for Palm Springs. (I overheard him on his cell phone in the lobby).

Hsieh is on a 50-city tour to promote his book, Delivering Happiness, though I will tell you that if you do end up reading the book, you will be delivered that especially poignant brand of unhappiness that comes from face-to-face encounters with resolute, unbridled, and slightly self-aggrandizing overachievement. It is the kind of unhappiness that surely inspired Kurt Vonnegut's "Harrison Bergeron" about a dystophic U.S.A. where mediocrity is enforced. We hate to admit it, but at some level, rocket boys like Hsieh make us wish such places existed.

I read his book in the afternoon (it's a fast read) and found myself sinking into malaise. It was that misery I usually reserve for receipt of the yearly Christmas form letter from my wife's über-successful friends in Ft. Lauderdale: "We had a great 2010! Babs, our pre-schooler, was just accepted to med school and Josh just joined the Rockettes." You know the letter I'm talking about. It's the one that makes you think about how meager your own good news is. "Dear all, we had great news this year and the kids are wildly successful: my son's fourth-grade class just voted him most likely to one day seek therapy. And our 18-year old, Skip, just learned that he will not have to repeat sixth grade!"

Anyway, Hsieh is not just über-successful but über-successful and young. We can forgive an old fossil like Rupert Murdoch for world domination ... no, actually we can't ... but Hsieh is too young to make his parents so happy. I'm well into my second half-century and still getting an allowance. The book details how the precocious young Hsieh began showing a natural talent for business when he was still in the womb, and how, immediately upon birth, he bought the attending physician a Rolex. By the time he was in pre-K, Hsieh had a private yacht, a stroller with spinners and a pilot's license.

Hsieh describes how his domineering Asian parents forced him to learn to play piano, violin, French horn, musical saw, and zither before he was five. Worse, they considered it a failed venture unless he could play the Brandenburg Concerto on all five instruments. Simultaneously. While dancing "Swan Lake" and studying for the MCATS. Which he did splendidly, while tossing a salad Niçoise.

The book goes on to describe how, when he was a mere 21-year-old, Hsieh sold an Internet firm he'd started from his underwear drawer at Harvard and simultaneously became the youngest person in history to become world heavyweight boxing champion. Or perhaps that was Mike Tyson. It doesn't matter: Hsieh made $240 million. Mike spent it. My biggest accomplishment as a 21-year-old? Drinking an entire bottle of Cutty Sark between midnight and four a.m. and then throwing up at Jerry's restaurant the next morning in front of the church ladies.

By the way, if you have questions about shoes or happiness, you can email Tony at tony@deliveringhappinessbook.com. Just don't mention me.