Man-child arsonist Donald Trump is torching the most sacred American values, threatening the welfare of millions, undermining the pillars of our democracy, igniting the ugliest impulses of the society's id -- and we, the media, are covering it like a bemused recap of "House of Cards."

You know what? Let's do have a trial by media. Definitely -- so we can watch in astonishment as the corporate defendant demonstrates its guilt by the very way in which it is defending itself. In its answer to sexual harassment charges, WPP is either employing cynical lawyering of the most loathsome kind or evincing cluelessness on a mythic scale.

Inevitably, the bold rechristening of the quintessential American beer will persuade other familiar brands to adopt new identities as they too strive both to remain culturally relevant and leech off the goodwill of popular institutions, personalities and even states of being.

At last tally, there were a trillion competing streaming music and video services, with many more to come, offering exactly the a la carte selection we always thought we wanted. And once everybody connects the hardware that gives us a cable-guide-like interface for sorting among our streaming options, we will have the content world we demanded. Whereupon cable might look, relatively speaking, like a bundle of joy.