Ethics are so twentieth century. This is now. Newspapers and magazines are gasping for life; who can afford the luxury of standing on principle? As such, in deciding who gets to work at Emit, one of seven key performance indicators is the ability to create content "beneficial to advertiser relationship."

We at Smackeroo.com are all about authenticity. Authenticity and heroin. We are the disruptive serial entrepreneurs to first reach market with artisanal opiates (think: methadone on steroids, with a hint of fennel) merchandised through an empowered distributed network at scale. We are crushing it. Literally.

In your attempted takedown of HBO's John Oliver for his very funny takedown of native advertising, you made a number of interesting points I feel compelled to challenge, on the grounds that they are self-serving horseshit. You addressed, for instance, the blurring of "church and state" by advertising disguised as editorial content.

Yo, A.G. I was struck by your bold plan to consolidate your brand portfolio to focus on core businesses and avoid further creeping incrementalism that depresses margins and distracts management. But as long as you're being all strategic and so forth, why not take it up a notch -- by rethinking the very core of your core businesses? Namely, promotion and distribution. What if you could dramatically reduce marketing costs and simultaneously streamline your distribution by subtracting one little element from the fulfillment chain...such as, oh, I don't know...retail?