• by Richard Whitman , Columnist, December 10, 2013

Marty, Marty, Marty. Can't you just give it a rest? Can't you just acknowledge the fact that Maurice and John are bigger than you? Can't you understand it's not about size it's how you use what you've got? Can you lay your jealousy to rest and stop making up pointless, headline-grabbing commentary as if you were a two-year-old throwing sand at your play date? Rather than blathering on endlessly about how the Publicis Omnicom merger is structurally clunky, can you just admit you've been beat? If it makes you feel any better, we all know bigger is not necessarily better. Why don't you spend your time telling us why WPP is so awesome instead of bashing the competition which just makes you look like a sore loser? Do you feel me? Can you relate? 

Well, let's not let this happen on our Madison Avenue. Over in Mumbai, 48-year-old ad man Rajesh Ganesh Iyer was arrested for allegedly raping a 32-year-old to whom he owed money. Iyer, who arrived in Mumbai a month ago and met the woman, had borrowed 30,000 Rupee (or $492). He invited the woman to his hotel room in Worli to repay her in cash as a check he had given her earlier had bounced. Iyer then is said to have raped the woman and warned her against complaining to the police. The woman, however, chose to report the incident resulting in the Worli police arresting Iyer.

Down in Nigeria, DDB Lagos is hoisting the champagne glasses after having been named Best Creative Agency of the Year at the third annual Marketing World Awards held at the Intercontinental Hotel in Lagos. The agency also nabbed Best Telecom Advertising Agency of the Year and The Best Telecom Advert of the Year for their ‘I don Port’ campaign at the 9th annual Nigerian Telecom Awards. See, Marty? There can be happiness in the world. Oh wait, my bad. DDB is an Omnicom agency. Sorry about that.

And now for some good news, Marty. OK, well, sort of. In a recent IdeaPaint survey, 65% of Millennials who work in advertising believe their agencies are innovative. And, Marty, while you'd love to see that figure at 100%, take solace in the fact the advertising sector placed number two in that metric bested only by the technology sector at 77%. But Marty, take heed. The survey also revealed that 49% of Millennials believe poor management is dragging their company down. For the love of God, don't let those selfish, entitled brats allow this to be true about you!

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