Results for 2012
  • 2013: The Year In Review, In Advance
    As the page turns on another year, by federal law we unelected media elites are obliged to say our annual sooth. Not only are we the last word on analyzing what has happened til now, we and we alone are qualified to predict the future. And why? Because we are paid by the word. Every single word. Every, every single word. But do not underestimate us. The oracle racket is no simple matter. It requires boldness, insight and the courage to risk being made a fool of by actual events. For instance, last year I predicted "economic woes for southern ...
  • Suffer In Silence
    From Oklahoma City to 9/11, from Katrina to Kosovo, certain marketers pushed themselves into public view. Perhaps these companies, and the people within them, just wish to express how deeply sad they are, and happen to have the media budgets to do so. Too often, though, they merely prove how deeply cynical they are, and leverage their media budgets to do a little one-off marketing.
  • Top 10 Excuses For Disrespecting Management
    I've been out of the ad-criticism game for a few years now, but those Top and Bottom 10 year-enders are irresistible, are they not? I have kept ongoing Top and Bottom lists for as far back as I remember. It's a pretty good parlor game and a fantastic way to make a living.
  • It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like MySpace

    From: Mark Zuckerberg

    To: sherylsandberg@fbook.com

    Subject: potential benefits of Christmas

    Sandster, I saw the data on higher click-thrus 4th quarter. Kind of took me by surprise. The users seem to be paying 30% more attention at the holidays. What gives? Opportunity here? -

  • Perhaps 'Hot NFL Wives Lose Weight Singing?'
    The Big 4 are failing because, as has been obvious for almost a decade, they must fail. Fragmentation and ad avoidance have killed their business model. The question, therefore, should not be how the Big 4 can cure what ails them. They cannot cure what ails them. The only relevant set of questions concerns what will succeed the Big 4.
  • 'Look! We're Tweetering In!'
    We have some hot new technologies here, and we should have some sizzling hot leveraging going on 24-7. It's a team effort, but the purpose of this communication is to "prime the pump." So here are some "conversation starters" from the 31st floor.
  • Advertising Loses In A Mudslide
    The presidential election was an electoral drubbing for the Romney campaign, a repudiation for the Republican Party, a humiliation for Karl Rove and his American Crossroads superPACS and a lethal blow to the notion of advertising persuasion. What the GOP proved, and what all marketers must at long last internalize, is that you can't advertise yourself out of a bad relationship.
  • For Immediate Release: The Most Exciting News Ever!
    I hope this note finds you well. As you know, Tooboozoob has just received a first-round investment from Prodigal Group Venture Partners for its cutting-edge networking platform that dynamically merges demand-side data optimization with FGB inputs for maximum transparency and scalability.
  • If You Play Your Cards Right
    Diners Club must return to its roots and be a genuine club -- not merely by conferring special privileges, but by facilitating conversation among members, by ceding certain decisions to members, by furnishing physical and virtual clubhouses for members -- and not least, by giving members a reason to feel proud. Only then will the paid ad messages truly resonate.
  • The Truth About Our Next President
    Because of the near absolute freedom of political speech, politicians are free to fill the airwaves with lies. Some are trivial, some are shocking, but they are the currency of modern politics. In advertising and in person, virtually all candidates -- regardless of party -- abuse our most sacred right in order to smear their opponents with blatant mischaracterizations of their records, their statements and their motivations.
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