• by March 25, 2004

WE CAN'T WAIT TO COVER THIS NEW BUSINESS PITCH - Now that media agencies like MediaCom and Starcom are creating their own marketing departments, the Riff can't help wondering if and when they will put their advertising accounts up for review. And if they do, will media pitch first or last during the credentials presentation? Actually, the idea that media agencies might soon begin advertising isn't so far-fetched, Jim Porcarelli, the new chief marketing officer, says in today's MediaDailyNews, but the campaigns are not likely to be of the "traditional" variety. Porcarelli alludes to "cutting edge" advertising strategies that would push the boundaries of so-called "communications contacts." And what better way for truly innovative media shops to demonstrate their wares for current or prospective clients than to develop breakthrough advertising that gets their attention.

The only problem we see with this strategy is that it might create a new level of client conflict. Normally, media shops have to worry about the diplomacy of developing a breakthrough idea for one client versus another. What happens when the client says, "Great idea! Why didn't you give it to us first?" And we can only imagine the discussions surrounding CPMs on the agencies' "house" buys versus the ones they make for their clients.

An even more awkward conversation, however, might transpire between Starcom's new chief marketing officer, Steven Feuling, and the agency's new managing director of investment operations, John Muszynski.

Feuling: "Why did we pay plus 9 percent for our upfront buys? You were just quoted in AdAge saying the market would be down 3 percent."

Muszynski: "Hey, we beat the market by two points. And we heard MediaCom paid plus 12."

At which point, MediaCom chief global buying officer Jon Mandel is likely to tell MediaCom's Porcarelli, "Hey, I was buying time when Muszynski was still in diapers. Besides, he got a crappy mix. Moreover, we beat them by a wide margin in Singapore."

(In the spirit of full disclosure, the Riff must confess that we altered Mandel's hypothetical quote from another choice adjective for Starcom's mix, because we were afraid of getting crap from some sensitive readers.)

But the most awkward conversation of all would be the one between Fox sales chief Jon Nesvig and MediaCom's Mandel over lunch at Michael's later that day.

Nesvig: "You know I love you Jon, but Muse's CPMs are in a higher quintile and I could afford to give him a lower increase. Besides, you had too much volume for me to handle now that we've scaled 'American Idol' back to six days a week."

Overhearing this from an adjacent table, ABC sales chief Mike Shaw, pauses between bites of grilled wild Alaskan salmon, leans nonchalantly, and whispers into Mandel's ear, "Let's talk."

As for the creative services portion of their marketing accounts, we doubt either agency would pose an actual review. We have a feeling that should MediaCom retain an ad agency, it would probably be parent Grey, while Starcom would tap Leo Burnett. But who knows, if they're really going to do the cutting edge stuff MediaCom's Porcarelli is talking about, they might be better off hiring Mother, Deutsch, or even the new creative services division being launched by David Verklin's Carat.

The development will also lead VNU to mandate a redesign of Adweek magazine, when its "Accounts In Review" page becomes too confusing to readers when Starcom is simultaneously listed as "Client," "Incumbent" and "Challenger" for its $0.005 million advertising account. But what will really tick off the Dutch will be the fact that Mediaweek doesn't qualify for the buy, because MediaPost has greater reach, even if its CPM is a tad higher.

Meanwhile, Starcom's Feuling tells the Riff he's definitely up to the job of marketing a media services brand. After living through the dot-com bust (he previously ran marketing for Kmart's Bluelight.com division), Kmart's bankruptcy and the turmoil surround its biggest non-store label brand, Martha Stewart, the former Kmart marketing chief sighs and says, "I think I'm prepared for just about anything."