Commentary

If The Boomerang Kid Never Leaves, Is The Parent Ever An Empty Nester?

A recent New York Times storyclarified the brave new age of young adulthood: It looks a lot like childhood.

According to the Times’ Adam Davidson, “One in five people in their 20s and early 30s is currently living with his or her parents. And 60% of all young adults receive financial support from them. That’s a significant increase from a generation ago, when only one in 10 young adults moved back home and few received financial support.”

While this information is consistent with what we have been researching for years, I thought that some of these trends would change as we climbed our way slowly out of the Recession. Surely, these children would do everything possible to move out on their own; surely, parents would begin weaning these “grown-ups” (and that’s what I call someone in his early 30s) from the economic teat.

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But the Times tells us not to expect this result, and defines a new life stage: early adulthood. Affected by trends that include the Recession, together with longer-term trends like globalization, student debt, technology, and later marriage ages (and non-marriage), psychologists now say we should simply expect childhood to last longer. 

Who knew that the Boomers would leave this kind of legacy, and not just in the children themselves but even the name (“boomer-angers”) of the new generation they spawned?

Marketing to the Boomeranger Parent

Since the Recession began, I have been surprised at the swift pace of change in parent-adult child relations. Three years ago I wrote here about the expanded role the Boomer mom is playing in payingfor her adult children’s bills, up to and past age 30. And we documented the unexpected degree of influence she has over adult children who grew up with a generation gap. 

In the 1970s, the last person a Boomer turned to for advice was her mother or father. Today, the first person a 20-something turns to for advice may be that special BFF: her Mom.

Marketers need to stop speaking to these two generations not just as though they lived apart, but with messages and offerings that recognize how their budgets and decision-making are intermingled. 

She’s Still an Empty Nester – in her Dreams

After reviewing some of these statistics, a smart marketer might ask whether they should think of Boomers as anything other than innkeepers, running an open house and open checkbook for their ailing parents, unemployed children, and helpless grandchildren as well.

Wrong. A majority of Boomers are still achieving that desirable state of empty-nestedness, and even those who don’t live there in reality probably do so in their minds. 

Even a Boomer who is unexpectedly entwined with her boomeranger child has gone through some important changes in her own life. She is no longer a full-time mother; she has survived menopause and finds herself with a new surge of energy to devote to her own future and disposable income to spend on herself. She has spent decades juggling the needs of others against her own and she does not want to give up this great chance to invest in herself.

Marketers who recognize this desire, even if her boomeranging children make it more elusive, will win her heart and dollars. 

Even if she can’t fit her household in it doesn’t mean she doesn’t want a Mini Cooper and the freedom it represents. If her house is full again, travel may represent even more than adventure to her; it may represent a new way to be alone (or have quiet time with her spouse). And even if she is covering an unexpected range of expenses for her 27 year old, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t want a financial advisor who can speak to her alone. 

At every age, the things we want the most may also be the hardest to obtain. Good marketers help us understand that these goals may be easier to achieve than we think. For mothers and fathers whose overachieving children have suddenly become non-paying tenants in their own homes, marketers may be the only ones left who can offer them all the things that an empty nest represents: independence, freedom and themselves.

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