• by George Simpson , Featured Contributor, July 10, 2009

Just when you think you couldn't care less if The New York Times goes under (something that keeps me awake at night with worry) comes a story like this from the Great Grey Lady: "One & Other," a grand project that is meant to stretch the boundaries of sculpture, opened Monday and will allow 2,400 people to occupy a usually vacant "plinth" for an hour apiece in Trafalgar Square, from now through Oct. 6. I suppose if you are a crossword puzzler (or you recently crammed for the verbal SATs) you know what a plinth is, but for the rest of us, it is that big block of marble or concrete on which they place the bronze statue. The best thing about "One & Other" is that there are almost no rules about what you do in your hour atop the plinth. Naked is OK; sex is not. There is a camera to record your hour of fame, but no potty.

What would you do if you could stand atop a plinth in Trafalgar Square for one hour?

TV Network Exec: Gauge the reaction of bypassers and alert agents you are looking for writers who can turn standing on a plinth for an hour into a reality show to go up against NBC's cheap ass 10 o'clock Leno show.

Ad Agency Exec: Offer each of your clients one-sixtieth of the hour to promote their products calculating the audience based on the average number of people who walk across Trafalgar Square in a given hour, the number who pass close enough on adjacent streets to take a snap shot; the live media coverage, the day two stories, the passengers on planes that fly over London that hour, the pass-along rate of cell phone photos and the video that your agency will post on YouTube and charge them the equivalent of a Super Bowl ad. Mark up 15 percent for acquiring the plinth for an hour from a kid who said he'd give up his spot for a 32meg iPod Touch and two tickets to a Flobots concert.

Newspaper Exec: Shout into the swirling wind about how you aren't afraid of the Internet and that there will always be a market for professionally reported and written stories that answer who, what, why, when, where and how? Try to prevent Google from crawling your own paper's report on your comments. Offer the remaining 59 minutes to the highest bidder to pay down your next round of debt.

Ad Network Exec: Set up a screen and give a PowerPoint to London on the reach of your audience; how engaged they are; how your inventory is "premium;" and how much more transparent you are than the other 400 ad networks with whom you compete. Ask the surrounding crown if they wouldn't like to trade a little privacy for highly relevant ads? Try to get coverage in the ad trades.

Teenager: Stand perfectly still while you text all of your friends about how you are standing on this big concrete block in London and how boring it is with no TV, no x-box, and your iPod almost out of juice. Inquire if anyone is having a party tonight and if their parent's will be home. See whose turn it is to score the beer. When your parents ask you excitedly how cool it was to stand on a plinth in Trafalgar Square for an hour?; answer, "Fine."

Digital Guru: Set up a table to sell your latest book. Tell the blank faces staring up that "plinthing" is the next big thing, bigger than push technology, bigger than Second Life, bigger than Twitter. Execute contract with publisher for "Plinthing: The Next Big Thing." Call Danny and see if he has a spot for you on an upcoming show to talk about "plinthing."

Radio Exec: Photocopy 5,000 copies of your resume and toss gently one by one into the Trafalgar air until the "One & Other" sergeant at arms tells you it is OK to wank a bit, but to please stop littering.