• by Alison Hill , Columnist, December 31, 2015

Every publicist feels a combination of schadenfreude and cold-sweat relief upon reading about a crisis involving someone else’s client. And is it me, or does it seem that entertainment publicists have an extra helping of these opportunities? Whether it’s due to naughty personal behavior or corporate shenanigans, we all get our chance at crisis management at some point. This little multiple-choice quiz based on hypothetical scenarios (some of which may or may not bear a resemblance to real-life episodes) can help us all keep our skills sharp. 

1.  Your client is a teenage singing superstar who bad-mouths her country in a video that goes viral around the world. You suggest that she:

a. Take to Twitter and Facebook to blame the media for her problems

b. Offer a "Sorry if anyone was offended" non-apology apology

c. Offer a heartfelt apology for behaving badly and provide an a cappella version of the national anthem by way of amends

d. Run away to a tropical beach for several weeks

ANSWER: C. This one’s simple: Go sincere or go home. Everyone from Hugh Grant to Reese Witherspoon has demonstrated that a deeply felt apology goes a long way toward restoring a badly behaved celebrity to the public’s good graces. (The national anthem would be sweet icing on the cake.)

2. You handle PR for a movie studio whose financial records are hacked, proving that you paid actresses and female directors less than their male counterparts. Your response is to:

a. Divert attention to the hackers as much as possible

b. Announce the formation of a women’s advisory group that will look into the matter and provide solid recommendations on how to address the situation moving forward

c. Take a “no comment” stance

d. Try to explain in a detailed statement why males have been historically paid higher salaries

ANSWER: B. Never divert, never clam up, never attempt to justify a clearly unjustifiable situation. Show that you’re taking action—and then follow up before the media does.

3. You represent a famous movie star who is accused of cheating with the family nanny on your equally famous movie star wife. You:

a. Issue a statement to the press that he and his wife are seeking marital counseling and ask people to respect their privacy at this difficult time 

b. Continue to deny the story even though the nanny is talking and has the pictures to prove it

c. Try to discredit the nanny by leaking sordid details about her past

d. Threaten to cut off access to any other stories about you, your family and your career to any press who cover the nanny story

ANSWER: A. Acting out of anger or spite is so very tempting—don’t do it! Take the high road, and ask for the privacy that non-celebrity couples would be allowed during bad periods in their own marriages.

4. You’re the head of PR for a merchandising company, which has just found out that its spokesperson is being indicted on child pornography charges. You take the appropriate action, which is to:

a. Respond to press inquiries by saying the company is sticking by its spokesperson until he is proven guilty

b. Issue a statement that the company is following the story carefully, cooperating with the authorities, and suspending the spokesperson until further notice

c. Take a “no comment” stance

d. Give an exclusive to the Wall Street Journal in which you share your shock and disgust with the spokesperson and announce that he has been fired

ANSWER: B. While a person is innocent until proven guilty (which is why you can’t go with option D), if there’s any chance the individual has engaged in behavior that harms children, you have to be seen to be taking action. Suspending the spokesperson until the investigation is completed is the only way to go.

6. You represent a screenwriter whose latest movie bears an uncomfortable—and uncredited—similarity to a lesser-known film from the 1960s. Your move is to:

a.  Threaten to quit as his publicist until he gives you the full truth

b.  Suggest he deny any knowledge of the original film and go with the “coincidence” angle, since he wasn't born until 1975

c.  Advise that he offer to take his name off the film, without admitting guilt

d.  Set up an interview with a friendly film blogger in which the screenwriter can insist there are only seven original stories in the world, anyway

ANSWER: C. Once undeniable similarities between the two films are reported, there’s no way to get out from under charges of plagiarism, even if the screenwriter insists he wasn’t familiar with the original film. Offering to take his name off the film is a high-minded gesture, and lets the Writers Guild make the call.

7. You are the publicist for a famous musician whose very popular (and profitable) line of t-shirts turns out to be produced using child labor in a third-world country. You recommend that the musician:

a.  Travel to the country and make a video demonstrating how the factory benefits the local economy

b.  Continue production of the t-shirts, but announce a donation of $10,000 to a child-welfare organization

c.  Stop production of the t-shirts and trash the remainders

d.  Stop production of the t-shirts, donate the remainders to shelters for women and children, and announce that you're looking for an American manufacturer

ANSWER: D. Always try to make some good out of a bad situation.

Happy new year, and may all of us enjoy a crisis-free 2016!