Commentary
Are Dads The New Moms?
- by Stephanie Azzarone , Op-Ed Contributor, June 24, 2009
In response, they are making a place for themselves in what has traditionally been "mom" territory. In growing numbers, they are creating dads-only playgroups, launching "daddy" blogs and posting parenting tips on Twitter.
This younger generation of dads is naturally more inclined to be involved with child-rearing than those before them. To many fathers today, sharing parenting responsibility is the norm rather than the exception. Working mothers expect it. Telecommuting and workplace flexibility have enabled it. And right now, the recession is making it almost inevitable.
There are more men out of work than women, making many working wives the family's sole wage earner and even sending stay-at-home moms back to the workforce. Moms who are already working are sometimes putting in longer hours or taking on a second job to make ends meet, leaving little time for parenting tasks. With family income diminished, outside child care often becomes a luxury of the past.
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For these reasons, some men are finding themselves chief caregiver for the first time in their lives, a fact that smart marketers who once exclusively targeted moms must recognize and respond to. Along with responsibility for changing diapers comes deciding which brand to buy.
How are dads responding to their new status?
Between taking on new at-home responsibilities and dealing in many cases with the loss of their work identities, they are turning to other dads in similar situations for support and advice on how to cope with both scenarios.
- Playgroups. It's awkward for dads to be the only guy in a group designed for moms. In response, they've begun forming their own support/play groups. With their charges in tow, they're connecting not just in playgrounds, zoos and other kid-friendly locations, but also on sports fields, where they enjoy quality time with their little ones while also exchanging parenting tips and, sometimes, job hunting experiences and advice. Meet-up.com lists 171 dads groups across the country.
- Blogs. Mom blogs have been receiving a lot of attention of late. Now, Dads are getting into the act, blogging as another way to share their experiences and connect with other dads. While their numbers are small in comparison to their partners', daddy bloggers are making their presence known. At Child's Play Communications, where we've managed mommy blogger programs for some time, we are suddenly hearing from dad bloggers asking to join our review network -- to the degree that we're about to launch a separate Digital Dads group. Like their female counterparts, men talk about everything from potty training to politics -- with a bit more emphasis, perhaps, on kids' sports, the latest tech gadgets and, in at least one case, the merits of different brands of beer. "You're used to networking within your profession and now you're isolated at home," said Ron Mattocks of Clark Kent's Lunchbox, whose tagline is, "Daddy's lost his job - now he's got a blog." "There are a lot of guys out there trying to understand that and trying to reconcile that new role." Dadlabs.com posts product reviews, while Daddytude describes itself as "a journey with a not-so-perfect dad." Daddy Dialectic is a group blog by and about dads who "embrace caregiving and egalitarian relationships." Some of these dads and many others can also be found on Twitter.
- Social networking sites. Perhaps not surprisingly, there are even social networking sites for dads, male-focused versions of CafeMom and its counterparts. Justfordads.ning.com claims to be "the only social network site that brings dads together to just be themselves." The site invites members to ask other dads for advice, get things off their chest, "brag, share photos, videos or discuss sports, movies, music, food, working out ... whatever!"
- Conferences. Yes, there is even an at-home dads convention, scheduled for October.
While moms still remain responsible for the vast majority of household purchasing decisions, today's dads are increasingly having their say. Companies targeting families may want to consider reaching out to Dad bloggers and tweeters, establishing a presence on social networking sites, sponsoring playgroups and otherwise recognizing that father's day is far from over.
Well said, Stephanie! While I'm not a stay-at-home dad, this may well be something more than a temporary trend; for marketers, it's time to target this worthy group...
Stephanie, great information and while I agree that dads are increasingly functioning in the traditional mom role, I was glad to see your last paragraph stating that moms remain responsible for the vast majority of household purchasing decisions. Marketing experts agree that mom is the primary buyer in the majority of households - making 80-85% of family purchases.
Stephanie,
I really enjoyed reading this piece. I am one of those stay at home dads in NYC responsible for the daily care of our son. I felt isolated when my wife went back to work after her maternity leave so I started one of those 171 meetup sites to connect with other dads in a similar situation. Our meet up group can be found at http://www.meetup.com/New-York-City-Dads-Meetup-Group/
Additionally, I wanted to be a destination for dads on news, content, thoughts, and playgroup information in NYC so I started a blog site at www.nycdadsgroup.com.
Thanks
Lance, good to have your feedback. And I really like your blog -- thanks for linking to my article!
Great post, Stephanie,
With the changing role of Dads it will be interesting to see if their role in purchases increases. Already, based on my research for a client it seems that dad's do play a significant role in baby goods purchases that involve technical/mechanical goods- strollers, swings, car seats.
Maryanne, thanks for the feedback -- good to know your research supports mine. And why am I not surprised that dads are more interested in "tech" baby goods purchases?!
Great piece Stephanie, but you left off Dad-Blogs.com somehow. I agree that dads and their role is changing and I love how you highlighted that fact here. Well done!
Stephanie, great article (& thanks for the mention too). I remember a year ago this topic was only getting scant attention from a small few like Rebel Dad's Brian Reid. There was some discussion (that I took part in) about the idea of a BlogHer-type convention for men. There are several SAHD conferences I can recall at the moment, but as of yet there has not been a unified effort joining the advertising community with dad bloggers like BlogHer has accomplished. There are a lot of little versions, but they are fragmented (that's just from what I've seen so there could be something I'm not aware of.)
As opposed to twelve months ago, SAHDs and by extension dad bloggers have received more attention now because of the economy of course. With 80% of those unemployed being men coupled with the advantages company's gain in paying lower incomes to women, this appears to be shaping into a catalyst for a stronger presence by men in domestic purchases. (I already know of a reality TV show on SAHDs being pitched to networks right now. If it goes, this will spotlight the issues in an even broader market.)
I think marketing and ad firms would be surprised and greatly benefit from reading Jeremy Adam Smith's book "The Daddy Shift" which talks about the changing roles of men in child rearing. Other books like DadLabs are educating fathers on the how-to's when it comes to newborns and babies; with this knowledge men are more likely to make related purchases with a higher degree of confidence.
Thanks again for covering this topic.
Stephanie, I was thinking about your article in the last day or so as I realized how many male FB friends I have who post regularly about their feelings about their kids. You opened my eyes!