• by whitley , August 17, 2005

I hadn't checked in on the girls at Jane in a long time. As a devotee of Sassy magazine, the irreverent Gen X book that Jane Pratt started in the early 90s, I just assumed that once you name a magazine after yourself, have a baby, and turn 40, it's no longer possible to be edgy. But I was wrong.

Jane magazine, albeit a bit corporatized and watered down, does have Pratt's original irreverence and a solid edge. Kelly Clarkson is Jane's August cover girl, and Pratt explains why in her humourous editor's note - she admits she thinks she's cheesy and how it all comes down to publicity politics.

"Like it or not, all magazines need to sell copies," Pratt writes. "You guys know it's what's inside Jane that's subversive, but there's ridiculously detailed (and very accurate) research on which celebs sell best."

Cover lines include: "Kelly Clarkson Says Way Too Much," "Sex Tips From Celebs," "95 Foxy Heels," "Jane's Audition to be Mrs. Tom Cruise," and "The New Nail Color of the Stars That Will Shock You." After reading through these, I immediately asked myself: Since when did nail color become subversive? Is the latest agreement between a Hollywood publicist and celebrity wrangler that said celeb agrees to "over share" now considered subversive?

On to the front of the book. The fashion editor shows up at meeting wearing UGGS and announces that "they're vintage from 2004." "Six Feet Under" star Peter Krauss' feathers are ruffled when Jane asks, "Have you ever faked an orgasm?" He answers: "Uh... I don't think I have. No, I don't think I have. That's the answer to that question."

I learned that inscribed gold vampire teeth are the new "it" necklace for Jane girls; if you want to keep dressing like a hippie, add in a little vampy black and maroon to keep your edge; short girls should wear tight pants and high-heeled boots; it's no longer cool to dress like a teenager over 25; oh, and the shocking new nail color is orange.

Like myself, you all must be dying to know what Kelly Clarkson over-shares, as teased on the cover. I'll tell you this much: Her friends used to call her Smelly Kelly.

Other features include a comparison of bosses and their assistants. The average assistant GPA is 3.25 and spends 50 minute per day working on personal stuff, whereas the average boss' GPA is 3.12 and spends 229 minutes on personal stuff. There is also a story about a new service that fulfills the fantasy to be kidnapped and a piece about how dating advice in other mainstream magazines like Cosmo and Redbook are dumb. I guess that's an attempt at subversion.